Guilt-ridden confessions

2007-07-13T17:55:00+02:00

I became aware of a fact - my boss has been working REAL HARD, real late (wee hours of the morning), even had work done at home...
As for myself, I have tons of work piling up, unable to finish during NORMAL working hours due to several meetings (with staff who walked-into my office and those scheduled ones) and other distractions. I did stay back quite frequently in attempt to complete some tasks, but its never possible to complete all that were 'due' for that day. With that, the vicious cycle of accumulation and tighter datelines kept coming back... STRESS is just one of the end/side products of such cycles.

Realisation brought back recollections of then, those times which I had just started work and was blindly putting in much time and effort with the many hours of OT to finish as many tasks as possible at work, while I was even studying part-time. That was also the period of time which I neglected the rest of the population of concern. Yet, those efforts weren't exactly appreciated. Thinking back, if I had been here with these great people in this current organization then, my efforts would have triggered satifying results and my 'spirit' may still linger. Now, I thought, I have made up my mind before ending the previous job, to not delve too much and indulge myself in work... This decision, is distrubing me, and costs me several restless nights filled with exhausting dreams, I think.

I would love to 'switch' back to my workaholic mode, but I am also afraid of the impending 'dooms' if I were to activate it. Energy is also one of my concerns, I felt old, somehow...

I guess, I need more time to think about this... More than I had expected...

FS.Rain

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Guilt-ridden confessions