Last posts on relationship

the present moment!

2010-09-07T03:31:14+02:00

nothing is more important than the moments you share with your beloved ,your wife girlfriend ,boy friend whatever!

because when he or she is not there in your life later on for whatever reasons ,you MISS and regret those lovely momets which you could have shared with her or him !

this is the truth .make your choices of spending time through your heart .Spending time with your beloved (the one on the earth and the one above) is the time best spent! My friends,life is short so do spend the limlted time wisely and do divine activities together with your beloved and share and express your joy together!

may your beloved remain always with you!

blessings

swamiji

ps. you can watch my latest videos on youtube.paramguru. The one about my going into samadhi(highest state of consciousness) is a beautiful one!

Dependency for life

2009-03-12T10:03:14+01:00

In the previous post myalterego talks about what is bad with a no-dependency life?Jacob Bronowski of book fame, “The ascent of man” refers to humans as social solitaries. I have found this a good descriptive term. Humans like their solitude, independence and individuality. At the same time they are communal beings and have a need to be in relationship and belonging with another person and having a sense of belonging to a group of people. So in this sense they are dependent on that other person and group to be there to fulfil their need for belonging.If I ever present the idea of the dependency hump inevitably there will be comment by someone that once they get over the hump then they can be independent and thus wont need to depend on anyone. Indeed many psychotherapies promote such an ethos - the healthy state is not a state of dependency but a state of independence. Self reliance is highly regarded in some counselling systems.BelongingMy response is - dependency for life is a healthy state. Without a doubt self reliance, independence and the like are very good qualities to possess in life. I would encourage people to seek those personality qualities and use them in their daily lives.Just one problem - they are not enough on their own. We need other people to be psychologically strong ourselves. When we depend on a dependable person/group then we are much more psychologically robust than the person who does not have such dependence in their life. So one needs a person(s) on which to be dependent their entire lives until the day they die.Let’s take a transactional analysis explanation of this.Person A has a problem in that they feel sad. However they go and use their own internal resources and use internal nurturing to assist their sadness and after time the Child is soothed and the problem is solved. A clear example of a person being self reliant and independent. A most desirable state to have for anyone I think it is safe to say. Some times however it is not enough and consider person B.Person B feels sad and uses their own internal NP to assist in soothing the Child. However they also ask another person for help and that person offers their caring and kindness. So the Child is self soothed and soothed by others as well. Person B in the long run is going to be much better off than person A because of their willingness to engage others in their time of need. This person is not being self reliant and independent at this point, which I am suggesting is a healthy state.However person B has one extra problem. As soon as person B transacts with the other, all sorts of very difficult and thorny psychological issues come rushing to the surface. Issues of trust, reliance, need, importance, closeness, dependence and so forth all come rapidly to the fore. As we know these are major issues of psychological importance that sometimes are not easily dealt with. If you get soothing from others then you have to also deal with these issues.TrustFor some they are simply too difficult and they choose to rarely seek soothing from others. They will never allow themselves to be in that dependent position and thus they will live an emotionally crippled life.I suggest that the healthy state is where one allows self to have some kind of life coach, mentor, confidant, therapist for the rest of their days. They allow self at times to be the dependent like party in such a relationship and this is a much more psychologically healthy position than the person who is completely self reliant and independent.Graffiti

smth is wrong with my name?

2007-03-29T18:13:56+02:00

I finally found the answer...why i called my self “CreamY**JuicY”... recently one of my friend said “you nickname reminds about sexe...and even all men will think same as i do...”For more details if you want, it reminds about p****!!!I was little surprised, i laughed some because that was the last thing that i thought about...Most of the time, i pick up nicknames like that, without thinking too much...the first words coming to my mind that time, i just type them.Today, i was revising and asking my self why i picked up “CreamY**JuicY”? and i found the answer. I neglected myself those days...i’m revising for exams, i feel horrible and i dropped everything: nutrition, good looking, health, fun...I was hoping to get out of this mess as soon as possible. Desiring to go to the dream land where i can play and jump like a child, where i can eat and taste ice cream, drink cocktail of exotic fruits, enjoy the sun and feel the breeze...I picked up my nickname from my fantasy... “CreamY**JuicY”...it inspired me the sweet taste, the brightful colors of the fruits. It is a mixture of the taste and the sight...and that’s the summary of my sky blog. I decided to do a public opinion poll about that : Is there any thing sexual when you first see my weblog name? Go ahead, i’m waiting for your comments ;)

The Alethiometer

2007-03-08T09:16:10+01:00

We were lying in bed just now, and he said "I find it so hard to be open online, I feel so much more comfortable talking to people face to face" he was writing an entry in his blog after not posting anything there for a while "I really appreciate your honest and openness" he said. "What are you talking about" I said "I haven't written anything there in ages". "Where is there?" he asked. In My blog "I answered".

I currently have 3 entries that I saved as draft in my e-mail draft folder, half written, or just a title, or something I started then left. And time passed and I never finished them, I don't know how to write about the past, and if I left an event or a thought for over a couple of days, it's lost, going back to a faded memory somehow, never works. We lay in bed for a while longer, it's so cold outside and both of us didn't feel like doing much today, just dealing with the weather was enough of a challenge. I surfed the internet aimlessly, did some craft stuff just cause drawing took too much thought, slept, read the paper, listened to an audio book, stopping the story every time the heating went off cause it's so loud I couldn't hear what was going on.

"Remembering what Frader Coram had said, she tired to focus her mind in three symbols taken at random, and click the hands round to point at them, and found that if she held the alethiometer just so in her palm and gazed at it in a particularly lazy way, as she thought of it, the long needle would begin to move more purposefully".

- The golden compass, Philip Pullman.

I'm lying in bed with him for a while longer, it's soft and comfortable, I don't want to go to sleep yet, but I don't really want to do anything else. I'm thinking about how intense and exciting and full the past couple of weeks were, we shot 3 times, and set up the new LoucheLust website, and worked on some flash movies and I made some drawings and went to a concert. Even my dreams from the past few days were more colorful and vivid and long, and waking up in the mornings, I felt like I'm just moving from one awake life to the other, like I didn't really get any rest at all, I'm thinking about those half baked blog entries about a million e-mails I haven't answered, phone calls I didn't return, comments I forgot to answer back at. Any communication.

I think about how in other times I would write my blog everyday, I would find the worlds to make even the tiniest event, such as a bus ride or a cup of coffee interesting and now, surrounded by a million interesting things the words just doesn't come to me, I feel like I lost it somehow, like my speech and writing became so poor, so americanized and shallow. Maybe it is the vacancy of mind that get me to write well, maybe the less that is happening the more wordy I become, and the easier it is to describe things.

"I just make my mind go clear and then it's sort of like looking down into water. You got to let your eyes find the right level, because that's the only one that's in focus. Something like that."

- The Golden Compass, Philip Pullman.

I miss being able to do that. I think about the alethiometer and reading Tarot and all that. I think about that state of mind in which all my perception turns into words and I just have to look inside myself and see, like in water one layer after the other peeling off, until I'm nothing but words, a layer after layers of stories and thought and feelings all woven together like a large spider web, and I can write it all, cause it's just what I see, it's not even me, exactly, just a long long string of letters after letter, and there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about cause what I see, is what's real and there are no different answers or different perspective aside of that. And there are no times aside of that moment, so that those feelings and thoughts - that moment is all that there is, and even though things changes, all the time, and in a minute from now I would feel differently, I would be a different person, the words would still remains as well as the knowledge that that moment was forever.

Just like in fairy tales, in which "Happily ever after" only last for one moment.

I know that that state of mind, disappearing into stories, into words, is very much associate with depression and anxiety, I know that I write better and make better art when I'm unhappy, which I spend a sleepless night with my sketchbook, the lines are thinner and more sensitive just because I'm shaking and can't keep my hand straight. I know I write better when I'm half drunk and half crying and there are 5 spelling mistakes in every sentence cause who the fuck remember to spell right when all that pain's just pouring out. I don't miss feeling like that, but I do miss feeling at home with words, I do miss that outer perspective on my life that comes with suffering, cause when I'm happy - I'm just happy, I barely even bother noticing it, I just experience it, I'm just in it. I'm scared that I have to choose between an aware life and a happy one, and I'm not sure, given he choice what I would rather have.

I never really believe in the whole "ignorance in a bliss" thing, that's just what people say to make other think they are more aware and intelligent then most, There is bliss and happiness and suffering, no matter how aware or unaware you are - life is difficult and crappy sometime, that's all there is to it.

I don't know why I feel a need to write this manifesto. I hate writing thoughts and feeling down, I like writing events, stories. I like looking at my life from the outside then going in, not just going inside and spraying my thoughts on paper (or keyboard) I feel like I'm just throwing up in all direction - that this is not interesting to read, not even for myself.

I wonder if I could ever teach myself to see my life like that, on the outside, without the help of anxiety or sadness, I wonder if I can find a strong hold in myself inside a relationship to write or if I need a solitary life in order to express and hear my voice loud enough to write it. I wonder if I even want to. I'm scared of changing and I'm scared of going back into myself.

"You read by grace... and you can regain it by work. [...] But your reading will be even better then, after a lifetime of thought and effort, because it will come from conscious understanding. Grace attained like that is deeper and fuller than grace that comes freely, and furthermore, once you've gained it, it will never leave you."

- The Amber Spyglass,Philip Pullman.

What Women Want 3

2006-07-21T10:21:39+02:00

MISTAKE #3:Looking To Her For Approval Or PermissionIn our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".Another HORRIBLE idea.Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.Don't get me wrong here.You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...