Last posts on love

Emily Osment Nude

2012-02-06T22:10:08+01:00

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Love of Consciousness

2012-01-21T19:50:00+01:00

We are consciousness and consciousness is all there exists, and others as well as ourselves are but part of our consciousness, so that all love, be it of ourselves or of others, is love of consciousness, so that to love anyone is to love everyone else, and our love for anyone can only increase our love for everyone else.

vanessa hudgens not censored

2012-01-19T14:07:00+01:00

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Giving it up without a fight

2012-01-18T10:11:00+01:00

A student once asked me, "What do I say to people when they make fun of me for being a virgin?" I told her what a wiser person had told me, "Tell them that you have something they can NEVER have again."

A student told me today that she couldn't come to tutoring because she had to go to the gynocologist's office tomorrow. When I asked why she told me, "Oh, well you know that boy that I was dating..yeah well we you know."

When I asked her about him she said that they weren't even dating anymore when he had snuck into her house and she GAVE him her virginity. Rumors got around school and her mother found out. She said that her mom grounded her for a week. The reason however wasn't that she had, had sex it was because he had snuck into the house.

When I asked why she gave something so precious to someone that wasn't even her boyfriend anymore she replied, "Well it just sort of happened." She said, "Besides I wasn't planning on waiting till I was married or anything."

I was sitting there listening to her and wondering to myself.."Why doesn't this beautiful, young and talented girl see her virginity as something to be guarded and kept for her future husband."

The answer..her example...She has been raised by a single mother that has a live in boyfriend. She watches TV and listens to music that encourage promiscuity. Perhaps she has been raised in a home without Godly morality.

The worlds tells you that there is nothing sacred. There was no good reason for her to save her virginity.

Yet even though this girl has been raised without God and been taught that this behaviour is acceptable...I could see the faint look of shame on her face as her conscience was pricked.

I wondered yet again.." Why is she sharing this with me when she knows that I am going to encourage her to not continue down this path." Perhaps this is her way of asking for help...to know if she is worth more to someone that just some momentary pleasure that they can get for themselves.

If you are reading this and you are contemplating weather or not you should have sex with someone that you are not married to the answer is "NO"!! Don't do it...even if you think that you are in a committed relationship..commitment without real commitment is not commitment. If that person isn't willing to wait to sleep with you then they don't deserve you.

No one can take your virginity away from you..you have to give it. If you have been raped or abused God can and will restore you. You still have your virginity..because it is a precious gift that you should guard for the love of your life..your husband or wife.

"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard" Romans 3:23

"All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him." Is. 53:6

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Is 53:5

Perhaps you have given more than your virginity to the world...perhaps you have been prostituting yourself to whomever or whatever draws your eye. Perhaps it is the mall, your children, your job, your house, your car.

None of those things sound like they would be drawing you away from God...but if you are spending more time thinking and giving your love to those things then you have left your first love...go back to Jesus...everything else will fade away...curl up in his arms and remember you are the bride of Christ..he wants your virginity in the sense that he doesn't want to share your true love and affection with anyone or anything else.

Vanity and Shame

2012-01-16T22:00:01+01:00

Vanity is the need to be loved and shame the fear of not being loved. Our society is based on vanity and shame, but in this it is also based on a need for love, and there is therefore a basis of good in society even in all its evil.

Self-Love and Love from Others

2012-01-16T22:00:00+01:00

When we truly love ourselves we no longer need others to love us at all, and we only still want to be with others because we love them instead. No one can love ourselves as much as we ourselves, and we should therefore never depend on others to love us because as long as we do, we cannot learn to truly love ourselves, and because of this it is not even loving to others to let them depend on us to love them either, as it keeps them from learning to do so themselves. We are the only ones who can truly love ourselves, as everyone else is but part of our own consciousness and therefore of ourselves, so that we are always alone even when we are with others because we are always ourselves, and others´ love for us can be no more than part of our own love for ourselves, and we can only love someone if they already love themselves. Most people do not seek to love others but to be loved, which is why most relations don´t work. Shame is the fear of not being loved, and if we love ourselves we never need to feel ashamed, and no one can therefore ever hurt our feelings.

Conscious of Connection

2012-01-16T21:58:14+01:00

We are as connected to others as we are conscious of our connection with them, so that if we are to connect with them, we should focus on how we connect with them rather than on how we are separate from them.

Fear of the Unknown

2012-01-16T21:57:26+01:00

All fear is of the unknown, as once one knows something one also knows what to do with it and there is no more need to fear. Because of this, people fear other people only when they do not understand them, and the only way they cannot understand them is if the other does not open up to them. If we make ourselves understood to people, then no matter who we are, they will never fear us. It is up to us, however, not to them, to make ourselves understood. Anyone can find love if they are truly themselves.

Sale Apple Bottoms ”Laugh, Love, Live” 3-Piece Outfit (Sizes 0M - 9M) Price

2011-12-14T15:39:03+01:00

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The Connection of Love

2011-11-24T19:45:00+01:00

Love is connection in consciousness, and as consciousness is made of connections, love in some form or other is the only way to consciousness. As we are consciousness, all is part of ourselves, and in this we are all connected, so that whatever we do to or for each other we do to or for ourselves and the other way around. By connecting to each other, we connect to ourselves, and by connecting to ourselves we connect to each other. Therefore what is right for ourselves is what is right for others and the other way around, as it is to connect to each other and ourselves, and to each other through ourselves and to ourselves through each other, so that we may become more conscious by doing so. We can but give what we have and the one thing we should give above all is consciousness, which is ourselves, and we cannot give consciousness without first becoming conscious ourselves, and so to give to others we must give to ourselves, so that we should be balanced between ourselves and others.

Our Own Love

2011-10-30T20:40:00+01:00

As long as we need another to love, not only will we not be able to love most of the time, but we will also never be able to love more than they do. We should love ourselves rather than try to have another love for us, and once we can love ourselves, we no longer need anyone, and only then are we free to truly be ourselves.

Love and Cooperation

2011-10-24T17:37:00+02:00

Love is connection, and the only way we can be close enough to each other to love each other is to see each other as equals rather than above or below us. If we are to be equals, then neither can owe the other anything. If we give so that the other would give in return, we do not love but dominate, and if we give because we have to, we do not love but submit. Love is equality just as power is inequality, so that power is the opposite of love, and as competition is based on inequality while cooperation is based on equality, competition can only be based on power and cooperation can only be based on love. We should cooperate rather than compete if we are to find love, which is all that matters in life. To cooperate we must both offer others our cooperation unasked and ask theirs whenever we need, for almost all of us want to give cooperation, but no one wants ot ask. The greatest cooperation of all is to teach others to cooperate, and the best way to do so is to ask for others cooperation, so that even when others cooperate with us we are also cooperating with them by letting them do so.

Between Heart And Mind

2011-10-06T17:04:00+02:00

Isn't it funny

how life has a way

of smoothing anything

through time

one way or another

if you'll only let it

How it lessens pain

and brings back

your true self

and the willingness

to risk all again

even if you just know

that somewhere

in between the wooing

and the cold indifference

your dreams will lose

the battle against reality

every time

Nevertheless

there you are

tempted to cross burnt bridges

as if nothing ever happened

and wondering why the heart

with such unflagging resolve

never seems to second-guess

Love Yourself as One Another

2011-10-04T22:27:40+02:00

We must love ourselves as one another, not just the other way around. Just as you would see another as though they were yourself to love them, see yourself as though you were another to love yourself, and love yourself in just the same way as you would love another, indeed, as you would love a lover.

Love your Hate

2011-09-24T12:10:00+02:00

When there comes a point at which you can only hate yourself, loving your self-hatred as any other part of you is the first step to loving yourself, thereby turning it itself into a reason to love yourself, lest it would instead become the foremost reason you would go on hating yourself. Once one has thus connected hate and love within oneself, one can hate out of love and love out of hate, so that every contradiction between the two ceases and the two can therefore coexist; and since love is certain to lead to hate sooner or later, this is the only way that we can truly love.

External Links:

Wikipedia: Wrathful Deities

Waging War Within

2011-09-15T07:40:00+02:00

So I silently fight this war against myself,
Facing once again my mortal fears and agonies.
Tending to the battle scars,
I run, trying to find quiet in the turmoil of my mind.
A place to rest my tired soul.
My heart beat is quickened, as it reminisces a familiar place,
A place where sorrow and sweetness meet,
Comfort banishing the sting of that blade.
Where peace rules and where one could just drown in the ocean of love.
I run fast to the Master of this house,
And He hastens towards me.
My tears turn to joy.
The war within me is won, and the memories - faded.

Copyright © Sarah Paul

Love is Shared, not Given

2011-07-24T15:45:00+02:00

The only way to give love to another is to receive it in their place, and the only way to receive love from another is to give it in their place. As such love is not something that one gives or takes, like an object, but something that one shares, like an idea, for it does not pass hands from one to another, but grows from one to another and back, and in this, rather than being spent from giving, love can only grow from sharing. Anything that is given rather than shared is not in itself love. Love is the interconnectivity of one’s consciousness, and whenever one connects to someone one further interconnects one’s own consciousness.

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

— Buddha

Would Jesus go on a Pub Crawl?

2011-07-12T11:32:26+02:00

So I am at a hostel in Budapest, Hungary. Every night all the people go on what is called a "pub crawl". When I first heard what it was called I thought perhaps it is called that because when the people come back from all that drinking they have to crawl because they can't walk anymore. It really just means that they go from bar to bar and drink more and more.

So I have been raised as a Christian going to Calvary Chapel and even though Jesus never said that drinking was a sin or even forbidden..actually he would be in the midst of sinners and tax collectors yet I am left wondering would Jesus actively participate in such an activity.

This morning I read this...

⁹ As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth.“Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him.

¹⁰ Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. ¹¹ But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?^[a]”

¹² When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” ¹³ Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’^[b] For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

I remember reading a Max Lucado book... called Next Door Savior...read this excerpt about how he puts this evening with Jesus an Matthew into perspective..it is awesome.

http://www.nextdoorsavior.com/book.html

I was chatting with my mom on facebook and asking her if she thought that I should go or not...and she said "You should go, perhaps there is one person that you can tell about the Lord."

I replied, "I highly doubt that people that are going on a Pub Crawl are in the right mindset to hear about the Lord."

But guess what...there was one person from Mexico that wasn't drinking either..and after asking him why he told me his story..and that left the door open to ask him what was he looking for during all those years of "partying" you know what his answer was..?? "LOVE"

What..what...he was going to a place like that to find love and acceptance?? Yes...

But why not go to church?? Well all the churches here are museums and void of anything but chilly air and a false holiness that ordains the walls...Jesus wasn't like the paintings on all these walls..he was the guy that Matthew met...

The last thing that Jesus wanted was to be portrayed like one of the pharisees..and yet what has happened here is just that...

I have a couple more days here and I am sure that the Lord will give me opportunities to talk to this guy and hopefully others because these people that are getting wasted everynight really are just looking for LOVE and I know someone that can give them that LOVE they are looking for.

If you are a christian reading this you know what you have to give as well...remember it doesn't matter where you are or who you are talking to whether it is the homeless guy or it is the millionaire they are all looking for the same thing...and you've got it..SHARE THE LOVE OF CHRIST!!

If you are reading this and have that hole in your life that you are trying to fill with drugs, sex, alcohol...please know that you will always come up with a hang-over...something that might feel fullfilling in the moment, but really is just binding you to it's power...if you really want freedom give yourself to Jesus Christ he is the only one that will break the bondage that you are in. He is the only one that LOVES you enough to die for you!!

To Know What For

2011-07-06T17:19:00+02:00

Nothing will be done as right as it could be unless it is done with love, for everything we do will have effects besides that which we do it for, and we can only find a way to do it that will not affect anything else for the worse if we care about everything at once, and love is the only thing that can make us do so. Without love, we do not know just what we are doing or what for, for the only thing that we can do anything for is love itself.

Kahlil Gibran: On Work

Candlelight

2011-06-08T13:28:00+02:00

No love is never lost from sharing and can only grow from it, despite and because of whatever pain it might take or bring, for love is far more than a mere feeling of pleasure: it is the ability to connect, an ability learned only by connecting.

The Beginning of Love

2011-05-14T19:58:49+02:00

Hatred is the beginning of love, as the collision of asteroids into each other before they merge into a single whole.

Love and Friendship

2011-05-05T11:53:08+02:00

Love all, but friend only your equals.

Worthy of Growth

2011-04-29T09:43:00+02:00

Growth is by no means hard if one tries, as long as we but think ourselves worthy of trying.

A whole new world

2011-03-22T06:44:00+01:00

"These men turn night into day; in the face of darkness they say, 'Light is near.'" Job 17:12

I grew up in the late 80's early 90's I remember wanting to fit in. In 6th grade I wanted to have glasses so badly. My mom took me to get my eyes checked and of course...perfect vision. I was so bummed. Imagine..I wanted to look like more of a nerd than I am sure I already did.

So I found some purple framed glasses that had clear lenses. I remember the long walk from the parking lot to the black top where we lined up every morning. I put my glasses on and expected that everyone would comment. I can't recall that anyone said anything. :-(

In Jr. High I wanted to have a retainer or braces...but of course my teeth were too straight. So at night I would tie dental floss around the first four teeth and pretend that I had braces. Well not such a great idea as now I have a slight gap on both sides...*sighs*

Anyways..I wanted to share these things about me because now I am working at a school and I see kids that are going through the same things that I went through. They just want to be different but all the same at the same time.

Well today a student came back who isn't going to our school anymore but another school in town. He wasn't wearing glasses or braces...he was wearing boobs!! He now has breast implants! He was there again after school today. I think that he is enjoying the attention, but I am so worried for him after everyone stops caring and he is left with such a disfigured body.

I didn't even know where to begin.....How is it that a high schooler is allowed to make such a life altering decision? Who paid for such an expensive procedure on a BOY!! Why is it that in our society now, no one is allowed to say the obvious, like "What in the world are you thinking? Why would you do something like this? Or This will not make you happy"

Just like all of us this boy is looking for love...does he think that by getting these breasts that will come to him? I am sure that many a large breasted women would attest that it does bring attention, but only lustful attention. Please please pray for this boy as he has chosen a hard path to go down.

"Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!" Isaiah 5:20

Infinite Causal Connection

2011-03-15T21:50:00+01:00

Over an infinite amount of time, in an infinite universe all things will have the same results in the universe, that is, it will have every result that is possible. Through chaos, everything is infinitely causally connected, and in this, over an infinite amount of time or space, anything at all will have an infinite amount of consequences, and therefore cause an infinite amount of creation and destruction. Whatever we do, then, will cause infinite creation and infinite destruction across the universe, and nothing we do or don’t do will make any difference about it in the long run. We should but seek to change our own lives, then, though our lives includes everything and everyone we are conscious of, rather than trying to change something outside of our lives: for we cannot change anything about what we change or seem to change about the universe, if anything, for either we change everything in the universe or nothing at all. All things being as connecting as they are, everyone and no one, everything and nothing, is responsible for everything there is in the universe. We should love, then, not for what it does to the world but for what it does to ourselves, as, if we love another, to some extent they become as part of ourselves.

Jewel's March Newsletter - Romance With a Touch of Spice

2011-03-09T16:53:30+01:00

Is it spring yet? I actually saw some geese this week, no robins yet. But, the six foot high banks of snow are shrinking. Oh yeah, it is warming up and I'm looking forward to those daffodils.

Not only am I excited about spring, but I have so much news to share with all of you. First, this week through March 12th my publisher Smashwords is celebrating READ AN EBOOK WEEK and my books are part of RAEW. You can get my books from free to $1 to $2 to $2.50 with coupons that discount the retail price. These coupons are good only at Smashwords. I change the free book(s) each day and the coupon discounts, so come by and check every day. If you have any of my books on your wish list then this is the time to get them! Just go to my Smashbooks author page, all my books are listed there with links to their page, the coupons are listed on each page
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/jeweladams
Smashwords is my new publisher, the books are also at the major retailers: Apple US AU GB and others, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Kobo, and Diesel, and soon Kindle. All the major ebook formats, html, word, rtf and more formats are available at Smashwords. I thought as I'm with a new publisher that I and other authors, and our readers need a "New Author Reader Group". I've made one called Smashromance at yahoo groups. I hope you will join We can have a lot of fun and you will meet many of your favorite authors. I'm looking forward to conversing with my readers and friends. Oh, we can have contest too. You know I love contests and giving out prizes Like I said, lots of fun. So come on over and join the group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Smashromance/

The very best news is for my readers I now have Trading Cards for each of my novels. That's right collectible trading cards. I'm going to put the first one here...

Isn't that the absolute best trading card! And I have one for each book and for some I also have shots of the main characters, even scenery. I haven't had this much fun in a long time. I want to give them out to my readers when they post reviews of my books at the retailers, Smashwords or on my blogs or website or review sites there are all kinds of ways to get the cards. I think they are a nice way to say "Thank you for your support "
Right now, I'm going to say thank you--if you would like to be one of the first to start collecting a trading card for any of my books that you have, please email me and let me know which ones you want. I will send you the jpeg photo file to begin your collection.
Psst. don't tell anyone but I have a feeling these trading cards are going be crazy fun for everyone to collect. Think about it, we can have virtual scrapbooks So get your list together and start your collection.
When you sign up at Smashromance you will see my friend Chloe Reeder's trading card for her Sarah Janes - Bounty Hunter series.

I think this newsletter is a spring explosion of good things going on.

I almost forgot! I started my WORDS OF LOVE - Romance Writing Series. That's right, this is a series to help you write your romance novel. If you have a romance in your head why not learn writing methods, get help with POV, dialogue, action, chapters, scenes, the list goes on It really doesn't matter when you start the series, the parts are posted each Thursday at the Night Writers' Blog and on my Jewel's Way Website and will remain up. I posted the third part Getting to Know Your Characters, this week will be What About Plot, Conflict and Resolution? I hope you will come over and take a look.

Wow, I know I probably forgot something lol. Next time.
Enjoy,
Jewel

Jewel Adams
Romance with a Touch of Spice
www.jewelsway.com
Join Jewel at the Night Writers blog for her Words of Love Series
http://sevennightwriters.blogspot.com/
Look for new and spicy releases...
Afternnon Delights and Undercover Love
My Newest release HELL TO HEAVEN
__________________
Jewel Adams - Romance With a Touch of Spice!
Come talk with me at my Coffee Time Author's Group
http://www.jewelsway.com
http://authors.coffeetimeromance.com/jeweladams/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jewel-Adams/40652882506
http://jeweladams-romancewithatoucho....blogspot.com/

Crashing waves...

2011-02-13T02:31:00+01:00

Imaging sitting near a large cliff by the ocean..isn't that sound amazing!! As the waves crash into the jagged rocks and the water sprays up making a beautiful mini-rainbow as the breeze blows little droplets of salt water onto your feet which dangle over the edge.

As beautiful as the sound is it is only produced by the wave hitting or running into something that stops it and sends it back to it's place...only to try once again to return...over and over as if with the next try the wave will some how win this eternal battle against the cliff.

Tomorrow a very dear friend of mine was supposed to get married. She had everything ready...the honeymoon set, the apartment rented and furnished and a beautiful dress hanging in the closet pressed and prepared.

But alas...her beloved groom called off the wedding. Granted they had only known each other for 5 months and of course everyone would say.."Oh, my that isn't enough time." But it was still quite a painful blow...like a wave being hit against the rocks.

You know that she'll come out of it and heal from the pain, but just as every time the waves hit the rocks another little piece of the rock is worn away..I suppose the rocks can either become jagged or smooth.

The waves of life will come no matter what...it doesn't matter to the wave if you are just a peaceful little rock minding your own business...it will hit you and hit you hard. You just have to make a choice...do I want to be polished by the wave and made smooth or do I want to become jagged.

Jesus was called the Rock of Ages...and he took the beating for each of us...call on Him when the waves of life seem to be overwhelming you...the waves will still keep coming but you can hold on to the Rock that will never let you go!!

God bless you and keep you...Grace

Let Go

2011-01-21T17:42:00+01:00

Its just super weird. Everytime I post about someone not being online, that person will somehow be online and message me.

And the last round after my previous post, M MSN me but after I slept.

So the next morning, I read his message. At the same time I wanted to SMS him anyway. So I did. Then I MSN him back again sayin I only read his message after.

But the fact remains that he is not trying.

If he is trying and should have thought of me every now and then, there will be an SMS. He need not wait to be able to log in MSN to message me ya?

Please give me the wisdom to let it go.

NOW.

Scaring Myself Silly

2011-01-21T03:25:00+01:00

When I fall for someone, I turn into this dependable, clingy, whiny, person. I hate the way I turn into.

Several people asked me, what do I really want. If I really have to give an answer, it will be "my ex before he changed."

"But that is impossible, you have to move on..... its very difficult for you if you think like that..... if you keep getting flashbacks when you date.... how to move on? then you will never find a new guy in your life, cause the one you are looking for does not exist anymore......" Says my close colleagues, the same 2 who made me jealous days before.

"yah perhaps you can find someone to 'replace' him, someone similiar" goes another imaginative guy friend.

Moving on? I tried, when M was nice and caring, I shy away. Because I got reminded of how my ex used to be extremely good to me. And I fear, I fear for another to do the same. I fear that if I allow another to be in the same position, he has the power to destroy me. And I don't want to be destroyed again another time, I won't go through that trauma again. The effect it has on my daily life, my sleep, my health, my poor brain, questioning my existence.

And so, I hate the way I am upset and angry that M is not contacting me for the past 4 days... plus today and it will be 5 days. I don't want any of this expecting, waiting, hurting. I hate being emotionally dependant on anyone. Those close to me always have the knife wielding at my heart. Always. I am scaring myself with my reaction now.

The more people I allow to be equipped with the knife, the more vulnerable I become. And I am hurting now, waiting.

I need to be stronger.

Feeling Childish

2011-01-20T16:47:00+01:00

2 days ago, a close colleague, whom I always go for tea with, mentioned she don't understand why 2 other female colleagues, being gentle and sweet, are not attached / do not have boyfriends.

Yesterday, another close colleague of mine commented the same.

And I was jealous.

Jealous because they didn't think that way about me. I guess its due to me always dressing sloppily, and never putting on make-up because of my skin issues. I am just not the type who puts in effort every morning to look presentable. Just.... proper.

Anyhow, am quite sick of this game. The Dating Game. About W, its not really getting anywhere. He keeping his options open and not really making any moves. But he chats with me almost every single day. I dare say he knows me better than M. M only contacts me lfor a super short chat like twice a week. Perhaps come out fortnightly. Previously was once a week tho. Let me think, like 20/12, then 27/12, 31/12, 14/01. And I let him drive me home on 14/01. Its not like I let any Tom, Dick or Harry drive me home. Its kinda dangerous u know. And he is not making effort to really chat via MSN. And I think others interested would have SMS me every now and then at least. Its like, at first really liked W. Then I grew to like M over W. But nothing is really happening. Perhaps after 4 dates, and myself really showing what I am about, I scared M.

So, yeah am sick. Of the dangling carrot.

I just chanted, still hoping for someone with a charming wide smile to connect with me. Chanted to eradicate bad karma and accumulate good fortune. Perhaps things will get clearer.

Every Emotion

2010-11-25T12:30:00+01:00

Every emotion is a form of love, in that every emotion arises from love for something or someone. Someone without love will thus have no emotions whatsoever. Even hate and fear are forms of love, as without love there would be nothing to hate or fear.

The most distinctive wedding for 2011

2010-11-14T08:30:00+01:00

What's hot for 2011 weddings?

1 Eco-friendly weddings

In 2011, we’ll see continue to see more green, environmentally friendly weddings. Think second-hand and vintage wedding dresses, LED lighting, recycled paper invitations and programs, and food from local farms and providers. Charity donations will continue to be a popular option instead of traditional wedding favors, and more couples will be asking for donations to be made to their favorite charity instead of wedding gifts.

2 DIY weddings

DIY (Do It Yourself) is another wedding trend we’ll continue to see next year. Originally brought on by the economy, this trend is here to stay because it not only saves money, but also adds a special something to the big day. Personalized touches and little details are very important in weddings today. Couples are incorporating their favorite things, including interests, hobbies, places and even sports.

3 Modern choices

The contemporary, modern wedding will still be big in 2011. Brides are opting for non-traditional dress choices, such as beautiful hues instead of the usual white or ivory, old shoulder instead of strapless, and short, cocktail dresses (the little white dress) instead of long gowns. This trend will continue through décor as couples are steering away from the customary 10-person round table and opting to mix table shapes and sizes. More info. at shine yahoo.

FALL Coupons are Here!

2010-09-23T16:30:06+02:00

You have to love the special feel that is in the air :) Makes you feel all cuddly inside. What better way to sate that inner call of comfort than by a good read. I thought it would be perfect for the start of fall to give you all a special coupon price for my new releases!

I started with 25%, nah, not enough, then I went to 30, nope, just didn't feel right...now I'm smiling with a 40% discount LOL. That's right instead of paying $4.99 per book, you can get them for $2.99 each. You see I want you to enjoy all three of my New Releases!

All you need to do is go to the book page, purchase the book and when checking out enter the coupon code that goes with the book. I'll put the links here with the coupon code. All codes are good through October 2010.

Now this feels right! Come on over and get your comfort read today!

AFTERNOON DELIGHTS Coupon Code: PF54W

HELL TO HEAVEN Coupon Code: DB93X

UNDERCOVER LOVE Coupon Code: XX62B

Can you feel the comfort? Go on over to the book page and read the excerpts, another treat at 25% of the book. You can also buy the books in your ereader format :)

Have fun with the coupons and enjoy the reads!

Jewel

Playing For Keeps

2010-09-13T14:37:00+02:00

I listen to your old songs

and for the first time

your words strike a chord

and touch me deep

never realized before

just how much

you were playing for keeps

I guess I never listened with my heart

to what yours bled in every line

the bittersweet regret

in each refrain

was never mine

My heart breaks like your sweet voice

and for the first time

I feel your pain

and it makes me weep

never realized before

just how much

you were playing for keeps

Domino's Anthropology

2010-09-11T06:36:49+02:00

Anthropology is the study of humans and human behavior. I must admit that this is by far my favorite form of science.

Okay so I just started working as a delievery driver for Domino's Pizza. There are several people that work there and seeing as I have worked at schools for so long, it is quite intersting to interact with a different type of people.

My first day a very nice girl that worked there helped me out a lot and I was friendly to her as I would be to anyone. I noticed that she had several tattoos, and I asked about the one on her forearm, because it had a little tigger and a name. It was the name of her son. This girl has really short hair and didn't wear any make-up, but was extremely nice and very pretty with a great disposition.

The next day that I was working with her she had gotten another tattoo..which looked like a barcode, but it was a rainbow. I had a hunch that she was lesbian, but that confirmed it. I didn't treat her any differently nor should I. I just continued to be nice to her and show her love.

However today was a little hard for me as I asked her how her day was and she said that it was good that her "girlfriend" has a publisher that is interested in publishing her "CHILDREN'S BOOK" I asked what the book was about. She said that it was about their experience as parents raising a SON and him having "2 MOMMY'S" The books are for KIDS and share their little boy's experiences like about his first day of school and things like that.

Inside I was just so so sad...not only are these two women lost, but they are raising a son that will think that having 2 Mommy's is normal. And on top of all of that they are trying to get this into other little kids hands so that they are brainwashed into thinking that it's ok too.

What in the world is going on?!?

Romans 1:26-27: "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence [sic] of their error which was meet."

Isaiah 5:20 "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"

Please don't get me wrong...I will not treat this women any different I won't attack her for her lifestyle. I will be praying for her and that God will use me to be an example of His amazing love to her. I think that Christians calling Homosexuals bad names and talking behind their backs isn't what Jesus would do. There's been homosexuality on this earth since Sodom and Gomorrah, it is just more accepted right now in the USA.

We can't as Christian's bury our heads in the sand...we have to confront these people with love and extend the loving forgiveness of Jesus. But at the same time let them know that we don't accept their behavior, their "sin"

I think that this is the danger in saying that people are "born this way" Well it is true in a sense, as we are all born with SIN...each one of us struggle with different sins. What you struggle with might not be an issue for me, and vice versa...but as Christians we need to do all that we can to HELP one another where we are weak and others instead of sticking knives in the backs of one another by our sharp tongues.

Tomorrow is 9/11 and that pastor is going to burn the Koran...as much as I don't like the Koran and think that it is leading millions of people astray...him burning it won't show the LOVE of Christ, and will only damage the relationships that so many Christian missionaries are forming and trying to form with Muslims in countless countries.

Because even though WE the USA CHRISTIANS are in Pakistan helping MUSLIM Refugees in their time of need..mark my words that NEWS isn't on any TV Stationsin the Muslim world...but if this pastor burns the Koran that will be on every station all over the Muslim world. Because it just gives them another way to spin their hatred toward the USA. *sighs*

The same love that we need to show MUSLIMS that are misled, is the same love that we need to show HOMOSEXUALS that are misled. We are ALL SINNERS!! Our only hope is JESUS CHRIST! So STOP being so judgemental and get out in the world and make a difference....that's where Jesus would be if he were here on earth...He'd be right in the thick of it all LOVING people...and giving them a way out.

"For God so loved the World that he gave his one and only son that whosoever believes in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

HELL TO HEAVEN now Available!

2010-09-10T18:15:27+02:00

That's right, you can now purchase Hell to Heaven by Jewel Adams :) Enjoy the Excerpt - Here.

Get your ebook of Hell to Heaven for only $3.99

http://stores.lulu.com/jacreations

HELL TO HEAVEN

Jewel Adams

A new bride shouldn’t have her dreams shattered and crushed before they can take a breath. Jenna discovers the man she married is a cruel, sadistic monster. She failed to escape the horror of her marriage and paid dearly for trying.

Ray can’t ignore the beautiful woman renting from his mother. All the warnings that come with Jenna can’t silence the unspoken plea he sees in her eyes. When Jenna collapses in his arms from the beating at the hands of her husband, Ray swears she will never suffer at that man’s brutal hands—ever again!

CHAPTER 1

Shattered Dreams

“Stop it!”

Her cry came too late, the coffeepot hit the wall with a crash. The dark brown stain slid down the wallpaper. It looked ugly and sick, like Jenna’s life.

“Take it back, now!”

Jenna flinched back from the iron he held inches from her face. “Her family is there tonight for dinner. I promise Jimmy, I’ll take it back in the morning.”

The cruel fist wrapping in her hair jerked her head back hard against his unforgiving body. “You’ll walk over there now or I’ll kill the bastard!”

Groaning in pain and fear she could no longer hide from him. “Alright!” He’d do it…kill them, he was capable of doing it. Jenna’s throat constricted, almost strangling her over the frightening truth.

Jamming the iron into her stomach, Jenna clutched it to fight striking back at her husband. He enjoyed hurting her. Hissing in her face before letting her go, “Stay outside where I can see you. So help me you’ll be sorry if you don’t.”

She dropped her eyes and nodded, trying to gather her composure in order to hide her tattered state from their neighbors.

Jealousy! That’s all this was, Jimmy couldn’t stand her growing friendship with her landlady. As for his wild assumption that one of her sons had that look for Jenna…he was crazy. She never spoke to any of Ruth’s sons except for polite hello and goodbye as they floated in and out of their mother’s house.

But the truth didn’t matter much to Jimmy. He wouldn’t listen, not when he was like this.

Her eyes refused to see all the broken dishes and the mess she would have to clean up, swallowing hard she could feel him watching her slip her shoes on,

“Make it fast Jenna.”

Fast? She could barely make her legs move, wondering if she did collapse if all the horror of the last three months would end?

Deep throated laughter from many male voices drifted from the open kitchen door as she approached. She wondered what it would feel like to be a part of a family like Ruth’s. Regretfully, Jenna didn’t believe she’d find that kind of comfort and security.

She chanced a look back to her house, her high pitched gasp escaped over seeing Jimmy’s forceful stance in the doorway. With the living room lights in back of him his dark form looked like the devil she feared she married.

Swinging her gaze back to where she still needed to go, she stumbled, nearly falling on the first porch step. She took a deep steadying breath. Jenna desperately tried not to show any of the devastating emotions swirling inside her. These were kind people, she didn’t want to bring trouble to them. If they thought something was wrong they’d want to help, she must be convincing. But how did any sane person explain why they were returning a borrowed iron at 9:30 at night?

She forced her hand out, nearly losing her nerve when no one heard her timid knock. She caught Jimmy’s movement coming out of their door. She banged on the screen door, watching as all the heads at the table swung in her direction.

How many sons did Ruth have? Jenna counted five of the biggest men she’d ever seen staring at her. The thought came that they could take Jimmy…no, she couldn’t bring her misery to Ruth’s sons!

“Jenna, honey? Is that you?”

“Yes ma’am.” She could hear the fear in her voice. She wet her lips.

“Well, come in child.”

“Thank you…but no, I can’t…” Seeing Ruth’s brow rise she rushed on, “I have dinner on, it’ll burn. I just wanted to bring your iron back…”

Ray, yes that was the oldest son’s name, moved toward the door, but Ruth’s hand shot out to stop him at Jenna’s sharp intake of breath and pleading stare.

Ruth whispered to her son, “Stay back, Ray.”

“Alright honey.” Ruth rose giving all her sons her strictest ‘back off’ look. She stepped out onto the porch. Ruth wondered how the girl was even standing over the shaking in her small body. She took the iron she held out to her.

“Thank you, Ruth.” Jenna’s nervous glance towards her sons wasn’t missed by the older woman. “I better go.”

Ruth didn’t try and detain her, nor did she miss the dark form waiting at the corner of Ruth’s house. She moved back into the shadow of the doorway and felt Ray behind her. They both saw the man grab Jenna’s hair and pull her forcefully inside before he slammed the door.

“That bastard!” Rays scathing remark only emphasized the violent tightening in his body.

She put her hand on Ray’s chest to restrain him, “Don’t honey, she’ll only suffer more.” Both their heads swung about at the crashing noise coming from Jenna’s house.

“He’s going to kill her!”

“Gordon, call the Police. Ray, get back inside until they come, that man is crazy and I’ll not have you tangling with him!”

Not giving into his need to help that girl went against every fiber in Ray’s being. “Damn him!” Shoving past his brother he moved back into the kitchen, he tried to block out the yelling that now reached them. “I swear, if I hear her scream…”

Ruth shot her other sons a meaningful glance that sent them moving over by the door to block Ray’s path. “She’ll be alright.”

“Will she? You yourself have seen the bruises on her.” How could he not see Jenna grab her ribs when she was walking to work in the dawn light and thought no one was about? The thought of her being in that house with the creep infuriated Ray. How could any man hit a woman? Ray didn’t think Jenna could stand much more abuse. Hell, she’d blow away in a swift wind.

Gordon’s next words to their mother sent tremors of rage through Ray. “The word around town is that he sits out in the park all day and watches her work. He’s even walked up to Wade and Murray and told them they better leave his wife alone. Hell, she’s a waitress, what are they all suppose to do, use sign language?”

“Probably everyone in town knows what her husband’s about, except for Jenna.”

Ray looked at his mother over her breathless statement. “What lie has he been telling her mom?”

“Now Ray.”

“Mom, I know she confides in you and only you, heaven knows she needs somebody to talk to.”

Ruth studied her oldest son, she’d seen him watching Jenna, there was no sense keeping it from him, not when he was so set on her. “You’re right Ray. Jenna believes he’s working everyday at the mill. He leaves the house at 5:00 A.M.; she even fixes him a lunch to take.”

“Hasn’t she wondered where his paycheck is?”

His mother looked totally distraught. “He told her they are holding his first two weeks and he won’t get a check for another two weeks.”

“A whole month, what the hell are they living on…Mom?” Ray knew he shouldn’t be taking his anger out on his mother, but damn it he couldn’t help it.

“Her tips, she pays me the rent in rolled change and singles every week.” Actually, Jenna was sneaking the rent to Ruth a little each day out of her tips so Jimmy wouldn’t know, but Ruth kept it to herself.

Mark pushed through his brothers at the door. “The police are here.”

Ray was out the door before anyone could stop him. Throwing up her hands, “well, you all better go too.” The kitchen cleared before she finished. Ruth didn’t have to follow she could already guess the outcome. “Same as last time…no help.” She probably should have told the boys that she called the police on him last week. To Ruth’s way of thinking there was a real problem with the law seeing as they did nothing to a husband for beating his wife.

Ruth hated watching the shouting match her oldest was getting into with Chief Wilson, demanding that Jimmy be arrested, Ruth figured she might have more to worry over besides just Jenna. Ruth hoped she read Ray wrong where Jenna was concerned. The girl was drowning in a quicksand marriage. She’d be surprised if Ray didn’t notice. That boy’s heart was bigger than his large frame and he hated seeing anything being hurt. The fact Jenna held such a gentle beauty about herself would have naturally attracted her oldest, if not every one of her sons’ attention.

When Ray started popping in and out more than usual, Ruth made a point of letting him know the girl was married. Jenna certainly didn’t encourage anyone’s attention. The girl lived in fear of breathing wrong, frightened over the outcome. No, Ruth probably should blame herself for peeking Ray’s attention on the girl, but she’d been so darn angry and at a loss as to how to help Jenna. Especially after Jenna’s failed attempt to leave that awful man. Ruth knew the girl was too petrified to try again.

Ray could beat the tar out of that Jim Hammond, but Ruth felt that Ray understood it would only end up getting Jenna hurt in retaliation. Of all her boys, Ray never acted without thinking everything through. And yet, tonight Ruth saw anger in her son she never confronted before.

“What do you mean you won’t arrest him? He hit her damn it!” The smile of gloating satisfaction that creep shot him over Wilson’s shoulder made Ray explode, only his brothers held him back.

“Calm down Kingslea! There’s nothing we can do, he’s her husband.”

“I suppose that gives him the right to hurt her?”

“No, but there’s no real evidence…”

Ray’s darkly dangerous eyes jerked to the pale girl standing in the doorway. No evidence? Couldn’t they see the marks on her cheek and neck? Hell, he didn’t want to know how many other bruises marred her petite frame.

Beyond the altercation taking place between them, Ray’s fierce gaze connected with those iridescent blue eyes…so pleading in their quiet pain. But as their gaze upon each other intensified Ray saw the pride her husband was trying to rule, no, extinguish!

When she moved away, ending the contact she never allowed him before, Ray wanted to scream in outrage. All his fury came rolling back at the cause of her pain.

Shaking off his brothers’ hold, Ray stepped closer to the bastard. There was a devious and dangerous air surrounding her husband, making Ray wonder how she came close enough to the man to marry him. Instinctively, he felt everything about Hammond should have repelled her senses. Ray listened while Wilson warned the man not to abuse his wife again. Ray wanted to laugh. Hell, they all acted like they were back in the 1600’s not the 1960’s. This Hammond didn’t have a conscience or heart, the sheriff’s words bounced off the man…he was mean. A coward, yeah, Ray caught the nervous glances in his direction from Hammond. Maybe he could make an impression where the police failed.

While the police were getting back in their vehicles Ray moved closer to the man. Ray couldn’t hit him, he knew the bastard would take it out on Jenna.

Before the man could escape Ray yelled out. “Hammond!”

“What ya’ going to do Kingslea, hit me in front of the cops?”

“A beating would be too easy for the likes of you…but if I see one more mark on Jenna you can bet your ugly ass you’ll have wished they’d arrested you.”

Deliberately turning away from him, Ray forced himself not to respond to the man’s retaliating threats. It was hard, especially when the creep brought Jenna into it and accused Ray of wanting her for himself! “Are you a coward Kingslea?”

Stopping cold, Ray slowly turned back to face him. In a dead cold voice Ray gave the man his answer. “Only a coward hits a woman.”

It took the police to stop Hammond from reaching Ray’s back as he walked away from the ranting man.

Jenna let the curtain fall back in place when Ruth’s son disappeared into the house. She fought back her tears and struggled with the shame she carried for the man she married three month ago. “A horribly, long lifetime.”

When did things go so wrong? She couldn’t pin point the exact time or incident when he changed. Shaking her head, she guessed she really never knew Jimmy. If she did she never would have married him. She still wondered how he hid the evil inside him from her.

Unwanted, Ray Kingslea’s image gathered in her tattered mind to compare to Jimmy. “There’s nothing to compare.” Jimmy was all darkness to Ray Kingslea’s light.

It took all her strength to pull her emotions back around her, it was useless to dwell on Kingslea. There were no knights and no one could save her, the police made it clear enough. Sadly, Jenna knew she already failed at helping herself when Jimmy caught her trying to leave the other night. She shivered at the memory. What he delivered as punishment for her act wouldn’t be forgotten, nor could the brutality be seen.

He was coming back, Jenna said a silent prayer she’d not suffer another brutal night like that again…

“You’re boyfriend really asked for it!”

The denial fell silent inside her, he wouldn’t hear it anyways. God, she hurt so bad. She flinched at his touch from behind her.

“Come to bed, Jenna.”

His husky order held so much terror she wanted to run away, but her will already fell away, fear ruled as he guided her steps to the bedroom. A tiny flame of remaining pride made her pull away from him, she wondered if she could ever escape this hell.

“You’re shaking baby, let me help you undress.”

“No…” Her voice sounded pitiful to her ears. The short laugh he gave as his hands roamed over her clothes sealed her defeat.

Jenna didn’t know or care when she became naked, his evil eyes devoured every inch of her flesh, smiling over the dark bruises replacing the fading ones. His fingers were deliberately cruel on the tender skin making her suck in her breath in short gasps to prevent the groan of pain he relished hearing.

“Come on Jenna, prove to me you want my forgiveness.”

HELL TO HEAVEN Contest

2010-09-09T23:15:00+02:00

You have to love contests and I enjoy having them especially when they are for such a great love story.

The contest is for an ebook of HELL TO HEAVEN. You may enter the contest by sending an email to (less the space before the @) jeweladams @gmail.com OR you will also be entered automatically when post a comment on any of my excerpts at the Romance Studio' Party: http://theromancestudio.com/party/

The contest will run until Sunday at Midnight, Sept. 12th. So, get the those email or comments in and I'll put your name in for the drawing :)

Enjoy the Excerpts and HELL TO HEAVEN will be available to purchase on Friday/Tomorrow at http://stores.lulu.com/jacreations

The ebook is $3.99

Jewel

AWESOME Cover of NEW Release!

2010-09-09T23:11:14+02:00

Oh, you have to see my new cover for HELL TO HEAVEN that will be released Friday, Sept. 10. Bev Haynes did such a marvelous job, I love it! If you are ever in need of a cover she is the best I've ever dealt with :) Check out her new site: http://www.wix.com/BevHaynes/Romantic-Expressions

Be sure to come over to The Romance Studio today at 1pm to 8pm for my Release Party of HELL TO HEAVEN. I'll be giving away an advance ebook of Hell to Heaven and posting excerpts: http://theromancestudio.com/party/

HELL TO HEAVEN

By

Jewel Adams

A new bride shouldn’t have her dreams shattered and crushed before they can take a breath. Jenna discovers the man she married is a cruel, sadistic monster. She failed to escape the horror of her marriage and paid dearly for trying.

Ray can’t ignore the beautiful woman renting from his mother. All the warnings that come with Jenna can’t silence the unspoken plea he sees in her eyes. When Jenna collapses in his arms from the beating at the hands of her husband, Ray swears she will never suffer at that man’s brutal hands—ever again!

HELL TO HEAVEN will be available Friday: http://stores.lulu.com/jacreations

the present moment!

2010-09-07T03:31:14+02:00

nothing is more important than the moments you share with your beloved ,your wife girlfriend ,boy friend whatever!

because when he or she is not there in your life later on for whatever reasons ,you MISS and regret those lovely momets which you could have shared with her or him !

this is the truth .make your choices of spending time through your heart .Spending time with your beloved (the one on the earth and the one above) is the time best spent! My friends,life is short so do spend the limlted time wisely and do divine activities together with your beloved and share and express your joy together!

may your beloved remain always with you!

blessings

swamiji

ps. you can watch my latest videos on youtube.paramguru. The one about my going into samadhi(highest state of consciousness) is a beautiful one!

care

2010-09-07T00:55:06+02:00

well, here it is Monday.

Im reading a book about the touchable kingdom. It says that of two churches does one convert into a christian once a year. Just another example , we need different options now! Christians are going to church and they have aloways gone, the jaded ones are on the outside wondering to put their feet. The governmental model has not worked for some time neither has the church model. I find the essential in the red words, compassion, caring, loving, giving your battery away so a neigbhor can get to work on your day, off. So the questions arises how do we care? How dowe give love? easy, look within and ask jesus, or me. When told im being prayed for i am delighted, or some one calls out of the blue and needs to know how things are going.It makes me feel like I matter in a time i do no feel so

Sunset Reverie

2010-09-01T15:47:00+02:00

I have a cigarette on the fire escape

while I wait for you to stop by

Jimmy’s ‘Castles made of sand’

coming down from the roof

takes me back to better days

like summers in Grand Isle

Hasty cars rush by on the avenue below

while their fumes climb up the stairs

The sun slowly sinking

behind the skyline

backlights my summery thoughts

with his dying flares

Why all our dreams back then

died such a painful death

I’ll just never understand

Two sharp honks they’re my cue

and as I rush down

those old memories slip my mind

castles made of sand

Not getting what you really wanted

2010-08-07T02:15:32+02:00

I heard a story one time of a little boy throwing a tantrum at a bakery. He wanted a chocolate cupcake that had rainbow sprinkles. His mother told him that he couldn't have it. He fell to the floor kicking his feet, crying about how much he wanted it.

(His mother had baked him an entire chocolate cake earlier that day and was going to give it to him when they went home.)

She told him that if he would stop throwing a fit he would have something so much better waiting for him at home. But he could only think about the cupcake right there in front of him and how awful it was that his mother refused to get it for him.

Since coming home from Israel, and in some ways while I was there I have felt like that little boy. I haven't thrown myself to the ground, but I have wanted things or relationships that appeared to be what I was looking for, when in reality they weren't what I needed at all.

God is so amazing in every way possible. Just in the last week He has taught me that by taking away some things or relationships in my life that I wouldn't have given up willingly He has something or someone so much better than what I was wanting in those moments.

I am the kind of person that can spend hours at a store and not buy anything...or look at an aisle of candy bars and in the end talk myself out of choosing anything. But there are sometimes when there are things that "I want" and don't consult God about I just make my own decisions and in the end they always end badly with heartache or consequences.

This week hasn't turned out the way that I expected, but I think that it's better. Because I know that God in His mercy has taken things from me that I couldn't have let go of in my own strength. People always talk of God blessing them..this week I have learned that His blessings can sometimes come in the form of pruning things away.

So I am hoping to really fix my focus on Him more and more and not get distracted for the cupcakes in life but know that there's a chocolate cake waiting, I just have to be patient.

I hope that this has encouraged you if you are in a time of transition as well. God bless you and keep you. Grace

Leaving a Legacy of Hatred

2010-07-24T22:50:41+02:00

Tonight I went to the shop that I always go to and spent time with the Palestian family like I do very often. The owner and I have very interesting conversations about God ussually. Tonight he was telling me about how he could never do anything but hate the Jewish people. That they are here taking over his people's land. Also he said that he would HATE anyone that was supporting them.

Even though I have known this family for 5 years, and it is just me that's always been so nice and loving to them no matter that they are Muslim and i am Christian. Still he looked me straight in the eye and told me that he would hate me if i was supporting a Jewish State.

He doesn't understand why Christians from all over the world come here and we are in support of Israel. But we are who we are because of the Jewish people. Jesus was Jewish the majority of our bible's are just what the Jewish people study. We read all through out the bible of how much God loves the Jewish people. So this is why we love them. We love them to show the love of Jesus.

But to a Palestinian that doesn't compute. They don't understand at all why we would want to support Israel. I don't want him to hate me at all. but I know that God is working out His perfect will by bringing Israel back together.

About the legacy of hate...Muslims teach their kids to hate the Jew, and Jews teach their children to hate the Muslims. There's a huge cycle, it's like being in a lazy river pool...everyone is just hating going in the same circle and generation to generation the hatefulness gets deeper and deeper.

Jesus said.."Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." This is the oly thing that will change this progression down. If everyone in the lazy river of hatred would come together and push against the water together they could change history!!

Day 4: after hours IM

2010-07-22T17:58:39+02:00

he IM me today. at about 7 or so. asked if we could catch a movie as friends.told him no and this stuff.. him wanting to go back together is just not healthy. from a short questions, it turned out to be a 2 hours long IM conversation.he admitted that it was practically his faults and he'd changed but told him that it's too late for that. and along the 2 years ive been with him, ive heard it before. am not gonna do the relationship again. it's over.left office at about 9 as i need to fetch my sister at home. the last sentence i wrote to him was 'go sort out your life and forget about me'. i dont know. probably 20% of myself thinks i should go back as am not getting any younger ya kno. but another 80% of me do not want to go the same shit again where i dont kno where my future is going. at least if we breaks up.. one thing i kno.. i hav the options of dating men again. altho i might not find anyone as nice as him.. at least i kno am not wasting my time waiting.question: what do you like to hear when u're about to sleep?answer: 'sweet tight sweetheart'

Day 3: Communication Cut Off

2010-07-21T17:45:00+02:00

i woke up this morning with a text from him "Gosh I really miss you Bo. Please come back."dont really kno what time it was sent as my mobile stupidly switched off itself last night. noticed the text only at about 7am earlier today.some missed calls during the day. i mute'ed his number on my mobile. so cant really know when he calls.finally he just FB msg me at about half an hour ago. a long msg (read through my blackberry tho) saying how much he has fucked the relationship up and wants another chance at it again.i so want to reply to him saying that the empty promises wont work anymore.. but by replying.. it'll mean that i still care. dont wanna put ideas in his head.. do we? hmmm...question: what is the ideal height of my ideal man?answer: slightly taller that i need to look up to kiss him ;)

Day 1: I yearned but resisted.

2010-07-19T16:45:00+02:00

my 1st day.ive been in very foul mood today. although keeping my day busy; i had 2 pieces of alcoholic cholocate. a gift from a friend. frankly, it was a boost for my so depressed day. i carried on the day like any other day. except that there are times when i do think about us. but i quickly snapped of that thought. the thought of giving us another chance. nahh.. i cant look back now.. it's a little too late for anything. but i have to admit tho, getting a text from him today "i miss bo" does make me feel a bit better. sigh.a friend plead for help today. she was a college friend. got married a couple of years back with her 8-years-sweetheart and they have a cute son now. a very friendly couple i kno. i just had dinner last week with her but have never really been in contact that frequently. we sorta click as we were the only 2 girls (that i kno of that time) to actually pursued in advertising (old me that is) right after graduation. i must tell you that you need more that skills and guts to actually survive in this field. i gave up.. but she carried on. i guess by being there for each other at the initial stage of our working life, i actually try best to keep in touch with her. even tho i didnt really go for her wedding, werent there after she gave birth, have not really been to any of her events invitation; we still remain friends. that's what i like about her.. she's unattached friend. we meet when we are available for each other. if we're not.. then we wont ;)anyway, back to her story, she called me for some cash aid. her car installments have been overdue for nearly 4 months and the bank is trying to repossess her car. in order not to get the car taken, she is required to pay 2 months of her installments. what happened was, both hubby and she are in a very tight budget now. Hubby is going for VSS and she's in advertising; she does not earn that much as well. but hubby did gave her a month installment last friday but she (being a girl) has spent some of it to shop online. yeah i kno i kno.. wrong thing to do.. but she was going to replace it with her pay at the end of the month (thinking that she still has more time).little that she knows, the bank has issued a repossession letter today after 90 days lapse. her car was about to be taken away during lunch today but she managed to get away for a day by promising to pay MYR400 to the collector. and since it was not really a ligit arrangement; she only paid about MYR200 today and promised to pay up the balance tomorrow. plus she would need to have 2 months installment to get outta this messed. best bit.. her husband doesn't know about this.if only she made the 1 month payment last friday; she would not have to undergo this situation at all. i feel pity for her though. surviving in this environment with a kid is not easy. plus men are not like they used to before (look at our fathers). back then, men are the only source of income. and we are so spoiled that we get almost everything that we want. now is not as simple as that. both parties need to work to survive the lifestyle that they really want. some even have to pretend to have it all but with debts surrounding them. sigh. not somewhere i'd want to see myself into of course.gave her MYR500 to help out. only cash that i have at hand now. told her to get the thing settled and pay when she has the money. he needs to tell her hubby about it only after everything is clear. dont want him to get more stressful to hear about this problem at the situation now. and she will definitely be in a very bad situation.hope things go well with her. love ya babe.question: what i want in a man? answer: stability.

Do You

2010-06-28T14:14:00+02:00

Do you sing to her

like you sang to me

Clapton’s

‘Wonderful tonight’

and the Doors’

‘You make me real’

And do you kiss away her tears

when a sad movie

makes her weep

and hold her

in your arms

until she falls asleep

Do you tell her

that you love her

and worship the ground

beneath her feet

and do you lie

as much to her

as you did to me

Palestinian Christians

2010-06-23T01:43:18+02:00

I have been living in the Old City of Jerusalem for about a month now, and in the last week I discovered that the two streets by Jaffa Gate have business' which are owned by "Palestinian Christians"

During my time here I have realized how easy it is to spot the Muslims and the Jews, but so hard to SEE who the Christians are as they don't really wear anything that separates them from anyone else, like the two others do.

As I went up these streets this evening I was met by a man with a tattoo on his forearm. It's not common to see tattoos here in Jerusalem. So I asked to look at it and it was the word FREEDOM in English in capital letters. He then proceeded to pull out this large silver crucifix from around his neck. He told me he has FREEDOM in Christ.

At first this was a breath of fresh air to see a Palestinian so excited about their relationship with Jesus. I came back later on to watch the world cup game and to get to see what it was like for an Arab Christian in Jerusalem. Well what he proceeded to tell me shocked and saddened me.

Before telling you what he said, I want to explain that the culture here is quite open unlike the USA where people take a long time to really talk to each other about things that matter. Here most people lay everything out on the table.

I asked him what he meant by having this freedom in Christ. He proceeded to tell me that he was raised Catholic but started coming to the Christ Church(Which is where I am volunteering it is an Anglican Church) in 2002 where he said he became "Born Again". But the people started telling him all the things that he shouldn't be doing. So he went back to the Catholic church and now is happy.

I asked him why and he said.."Now I have the FREEDOM to do whatever I want". I asked, "Like what?"

"Go out with girls, drink, smoke...just be free". I said, "Well are you just going out with these girls or are you sleeping with them?"

He said matter of factly, "Oh, of course I am sleeping with them". I was trying to keep my jaw up. I couldn't believe that he thought all of that was his FREEDOM in Christ!! What a contradiction. He then told me that sometimes he feels bad after, but then he just goes and confesses and does it again. No remorse shown at all.

I asked, "So if I came to your shop and stole something and then came back and asked for forgiveness how many times would you continue to forgive me if I just kept doing it habitually?" He said, "He'd only forgive me the first time." But of course God is different.

So I showed him what it says in Romans, about how we are FREE not to sin, and to not be bound by the desires of our flesh. I shared with him that I am no where near perfect either, but still the choices he was making weren't freedom, but actually slavery to sin.

Christianity here is nothing like Christianity in America. Or Christianity in the Bible for that matter. All the Christian shops sell tons of alcohol and cigarettes and they have bars and pubs that are actually called Christian. After seeing all this I asked myself, why in the world would anyone want this?? They are portraying Christ as the world...it's completely turned upside down.

I can see how Muslims and Jews for that matter don't want anything to do with Jesus, would you want anything to do with him if he was portrayed to be how the Christians here paint him to be? I wouldn't.

Please pray that the Lord will raise up real, true CHRISTIANS people that exemplify Christ in their lives. We are supposed to be set apart for the Lord, yet here WE (Christians) are the world...we are what the bible says we are to flee from.

I believe that this isn't far from happening in the USA either...every time you compromise and give into your flesh, because you have the freedom and you think that no one is watching, it isn't true. People are watching us and every time you don't do what is honest, and true and upright you are being a BAD example of the one that you are supposed to be representing. I am just as guilty as the next person and there's no way that we are going to be perfect, but man we are supposed to aim high. You can't do it in your own strength. Ask God to help you but don't just give into temptation because we have God's grace to forgive us. Stay away from sin because you are no longer a slave to it.

We have FREEDOM not to sin!!

We need to stand up and take action in LOVE but in righteousness!! "

"Let your light so shine before men that they see your GOOD WORKS and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Love and Association

2010-06-22T14:54:00+02:00

We come to love something we did not before when we find how it connects to what we already loved, and as all things are connected our love may connect to everything in this way. Even so, your love can only connect in this way if you focus on what you already love. Love begins from our instincts, and from there, spreads outwards across our consciousness through association with those instincts.

A lot can happen in three years...

2010-06-12T16:30:34+02:00

...like getting engaged to The Boyfriend (so far we've been engaged for two and a half years and I still haven't got around to trying on a wedding dress), stacking on all the weight you lost at 21 (although obviously this means I have "cured" my bulimia) and finding out that you do actually want children (as well as finding out that the odds of being able bear a child are not in your favour).

I no longer work in a bar. I work 60+ hours a week as an assistant, haven't seen my friends in over two months, and was inconsolable when watching The Devil Wears Prada (although it is meant to be a comedy, for me it was a little too close to home).

Life was not meant to turn out this way.

One day I will get everything off my chest, get it all down on paper and be able to breath again.