Last posts on family

[Family Fun | Jokes] A force is stopping me from eating this...

2012-05-20T11:30:00+02:00

We were out on a toiletries shopping trip at the neighbourhood mall (Compass Point) to get some shampoos and what not...

As we alight from the bus and walking back home from the bus stop, my little brother said something that makes me laughed...

Direct translation:

Brother: "There's a strong force stopping me from eating this.."

He shows us what he meant in the above clip..

That's how fun and random we gets on a HOT, Sunday afternoon.. where the heats gets the best out of us.

Have a great weekend!!

Cheerios
FS.Rain

Giving it up without a fight

2012-01-18T10:11:00+01:00

A student once asked me, "What do I say to people when they make fun of me for being a virgin?" I told her what a wiser person had told me, "Tell them that you have something they can NEVER have again."

A student told me today that she couldn't come to tutoring because she had to go to the gynocologist's office tomorrow. When I asked why she told me, "Oh, well you know that boy that I was dating..yeah well we you know."

When I asked her about him she said that they weren't even dating anymore when he had snuck into her house and she GAVE him her virginity. Rumors got around school and her mother found out. She said that her mom grounded her for a week. The reason however wasn't that she had, had sex it was because he had snuck into the house.

When I asked why she gave something so precious to someone that wasn't even her boyfriend anymore she replied, "Well it just sort of happened." She said, "Besides I wasn't planning on waiting till I was married or anything."

I was sitting there listening to her and wondering to myself.."Why doesn't this beautiful, young and talented girl see her virginity as something to be guarded and kept for her future husband."

The answer..her example...She has been raised by a single mother that has a live in boyfriend. She watches TV and listens to music that encourage promiscuity. Perhaps she has been raised in a home without Godly morality.

The worlds tells you that there is nothing sacred. There was no good reason for her to save her virginity.

Yet even though this girl has been raised without God and been taught that this behaviour is acceptable...I could see the faint look of shame on her face as her conscience was pricked.

I wondered yet again.." Why is she sharing this with me when she knows that I am going to encourage her to not continue down this path." Perhaps this is her way of asking for help...to know if she is worth more to someone that just some momentary pleasure that they can get for themselves.

If you are reading this and you are contemplating weather or not you should have sex with someone that you are not married to the answer is "NO"!! Don't do it...even if you think that you are in a committed relationship..commitment without real commitment is not commitment. If that person isn't willing to wait to sleep with you then they don't deserve you.

No one can take your virginity away from you..you have to give it. If you have been raped or abused God can and will restore you. You still have your virginity..because it is a precious gift that you should guard for the love of your life..your husband or wife.

"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard" Romans 3:23

"All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him." Is. 53:6

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Is 53:5

Perhaps you have given more than your virginity to the world...perhaps you have been prostituting yourself to whomever or whatever draws your eye. Perhaps it is the mall, your children, your job, your house, your car.

None of those things sound like they would be drawing you away from God...but if you are spending more time thinking and giving your love to those things then you have left your first love...go back to Jesus...everything else will fade away...curl up in his arms and remember you are the bride of Christ..he wants your virginity in the sense that he doesn't want to share your true love and affection with anyone or anything else.

Supreme Parenting Figure

2011-02-28T18:38:00+01:00

In our world, society has become a new parenting figure, and we all grovel to try and extract its approval, its parental love. Often, this echoes memories of our own parental love or lack thereof, because our parents themselves, in rearing us, were giving us this same kind of love that had been instilled upon them by society: that is to say, they themselves, in their way of rearing us, were groveling for the approval of the supreme parenting figure of society.

This “supreme parenting figure of society” may be called a God, and that we are increasingly becoming atheists, agnostics and pagans shows two things: on the one hand, it is a victory in gaining increased independence from that supreme parenting figure; on the other hand, it is the result of that supreme parenting figure becoming increasingly distant as population grows, so that, eventually, it comes to feel as if “there is no God” (“there is no supreme parenting figure in society”). This God, however, still exists, but now has merely become a colder kind of God, enforcing a colder kind of slavery.

It works so efficiently because love is such primary need that it will be sought wherever it can be found no matter how little there is, and if nowhere else, then it is sought in society itself. Because of this, someone starved of love from actual people is the perfect slave of society.

3 Ultimate Troubles Related To Discipline For Toddlers!

2010-11-26T16:35:24+01:00

Numerous have been successful at effectively making use of discipline for toddlers, although many moms and dads have a hard time. Read along, as we will try to give you some support in this area!

Initially, you should keep in mind, though your toddler age youngsters are still quite youthful, a person cannot permit them to do what ever they desire. This will probably be most vital that you get in the practice today, of, creating a few clear-cut do's and don'ts. And when you happen to be steady, you will probably be able to accomplish this. As soon as you become sporadic, you might open yourself up to be taken advantage of.

The second thing you'll wish to establish early on, is, to decide just what points are important to you. You might then make such things, "family regulations". This might not always be something that will be generally performed or recognized by other families. As an illustration, you could decide that it can be acceptable for your kids to jump all around on his or her own bed, and normally permit them to create a wreck of this, however, you do not want them to complete anything of the sort on the living room couch.

Then, from the second this is a guideline, you have to be extremely consistent whenever enforcing this. Odd minor guidelines like this one are truly great techniques of practicing enforcement with your young children. You might realize, pretty early on, if there are going to be concerns in regards to self-control for the toddlers.

The 3rd situation has to do with the exact completing of your discipline for toddlers. You can possess all types of rules for your children, however it really is the way you truly impose these principles, that will generate a massive distinction in your life for years to come! Definitely, the earlier you begin enforcement, as well as the more steady that you are, the more effective you will be. When you can do each properly, you'll possess a significantly much easier time with your young children.

Nonetheless, what do you do whenever your child misbehaves? What do you need to do whenever your little one simply does not listen to nearly anything you have to say? Do you come down roughly, just like most parents tend to do, and believe they have to? Would you shout and scream at them till you might be pink in the face? You can possess all kinds of guidelines with regard to your children, however in the event that there are concerns during the enforcement, what does a parent do?

Learn the roots of negative behavior to make long lasting changes. Uncover why one shouldn't employ harsh parenting methods, by going to my Discipline For Toddlers website at bestpositiveparentingtips.com/discipline-for-toddlers

3 Ways To Get Rid Of Your Child Misbehavior Issues!

2010-11-26T16:33:54+01:00

Have you been experiencing child misbehavior troubles? Don't be anxious due to the fact you're undertaking the investigation, and you will come across how you can remedy your problems. So let's get directly into it, as I'm certain you might have a thousand and one details to accomplish today!

To start with, it really is with the highest importance that you and your family get the suitable quantities of exercise. This really is especially crucial to become conscious of should you reside in a chilly local climate. We are inclined to turn out to be rather stationary in the winter months in these chilly areas, so, you need to be extra careful to care for this if you are in this particular kind of situation.

Regardless of exactly where you are living, making sure your child gets the appropriate exercise will assist them to continue to be healthier and alert. It's going to help their metabolism to remain optimum, and it is going to support and keep their mind functioning at a high degree. And also, obtaining typical physical exercise will most probably aid their self-esteem.

The second suggestion that will aid you if you've got child misbehavior problems, would be to really try to ensure your young children obtain the proper nutrition. You can be surprised at how harmful deficiencies in proper nourishment can be for a thriving youngster. Negative eating practices can badly impact numerous things, even the personality of a youngster.

You can find a lot of theories about meals and what one should eat, so you will be better served if you perform a little investigation about this to determine what works greatest in your case. A couple of standard suggestions to adhere to is:

1. Keep at a distance from processed foods as they are normally high in glucose, and low in nutrients.

2. Keep away from fast food. It's processed, largely fried, and simply, typically not very good for you.

3. Eat plenty of fresh vegetables and fruit. These are natural, and possess lots of vitamins.

One particular huge issue to try to keep absent from is sugar. Excessive sugar can on it's own, result in child misbehavior, as I'm sure you have experienced quite often!

The last tip is about what we think is an always increasing issue involving young families. And that's using harsh parenting strategies. Now, we aren't here to evaluate. We're just offering aid as well as strategies to help you, if you want them.

And before we speak of some of the devastating results of these techniques, let us say that, in case you follow the initial two suggestions, you ought to experience a noticeable decline in your child's misbehavior. When that occurs, you need to have a lot less reason for shouting or yelling at, or lecturing your children.

These types of harsh sorts of parenting techniques should not be used for these reasons:

1. They just do not do the job. They may well cause an immediate reaction of calm, however, they trigger tension, which makes cortisol go to their mind. This will likely only cause them to act up more!

2. This cortisol to the brain can cause higher blood pressure, loss of memory, low bone thickness, and trigger their immune system to be much less efficient.

3. And all of the previously mentioned may result in very low self-esteem and high instances of severe teenager misbehavior.

To get parenting suggestions, and the history of Cortisol, and why you need to, under any circumstances, not use severe parenting methods, go to my Child Misbehavior internet site at bestpositiveparentingtips.com/parentingtips

3 Important Reasons You Will Need To Take A Look At Your Child Discipline Techniques!

2010-11-26T16:30:34+01:00

Precisely why may you need to transform your child discipline techniques? We will look at the likely reasons why, and in the process, hopefully we shall make things a bit more obvious so you'll realize what to do next!

The first reason to alter your child discipline techniques can be if you're regularly obtaining the identical behavior concerns with your young children. There is a saying that states that duplicating the very same mistakes over and over is insanity. Though we aren't seeking to call anybody crazy, there may be definitely a lot of causes to not continue on undertaking the same thing over and over again if it really is not doing any good.

The 2nd motive to seek out some sort of child discipline techniques that are effective is in the event that you've been extremely poor with this subject. What we imply is, maybe you might have pretty much permitted your youngsters do what ever they desire. Actually, you would not be looking for new methods, you will be trying to commence making use of discipline. If this really is the case, it's certainly time to come across methods to keep your kids in check.

Last however, not least, there is certainly this final predicament. If the stress between you and your children has gotten to such a stage that you have had to make use of strong parenting techniques, it is time for you to make a few adjustments! You may not notice it due to the fact you happen to be there each day, but there is undoubtedly a few things amiss.

If that is happening, issues between you and your kids are most likely so off course, that you might really need to wave the white flag of surrender. What we imply by that is, it really is time for you to make some adjustments. It's time for you to maybe seek some aid, or, greatly change some issues.

What several individuals tend not to understand is harsh strategies like shouting, yelling, lecturing, spanking and smacking, to identify a few, all have serious consequences. And most men and women are not knowledgeable of this, and just how devastating of an issue this could really be!

Youngsters can become full of worry and tension from just one occurrence of those child discipline techniques, let alone recurring occasions of it. A thing called cortisol is released in to the brain during these times of anxiety. Youngsters, due to the fact they're still growing, then can grow to be really affected.

There is certainly such a large amount of bad things concerning anxiety and cortisol, that it is too much to recreate for this particular write-up. The point is, any time you might be at this point, it really is surely time for you to make some improvements!

After you have had some time for you to allow everything to soak in, you will likely be all set to,

learn ways of parenting that will educate you about the origins of negative conduct to make long lasting changes. Do this by going to my child discipline techniques web site at parent-effectiveness-training.com/child-discipline-techniques

3 Things You Should Steer Clear Of Doing When Parenting Young Children!

2010-11-26T16:29:08+01:00

Are you developing troubles parenting your young children? In the event you would really like to be amongst those that have great results when becoming a mother or father for your children, the occasion to perform things appropriately is while they are still around the adolescent age. Therefore, if you might be having difficulties, and you desire to transform things, here are 3 things you need to steer clear of carrying out.

Number one. A person really should not be vague when it comes to establishing limitations for your children. Numerous mothers and fathers don't like saying no to their own youngsters. They may say no to a scenario or request, only to switch their mind later on. You should avoid undertaking this for a couple of factors. It delivers a mixed message to your kids which could produce turmoil. Additionally, it lets them understand that if they keep asking you to do something that they want to do, sooner or later you'll say yes.

The ideal technique to prevent these complications, specifically when you are parenting young children, would be to just be rigid and steady. It does not indicate you always have to say no to issues, and even the exact same sort of requests. As long as you have consistent rules and reasonable explanations, they'll most likely adhere to your requests.

Number two. Any time your sons or daughters are extremely small, the explanations for your reasoning of letting them carry out things or not, will need to be as short as possible. This is specifically correct throughout the occasions that they are prompting you to change your thoughts. Later on, at a handy moment, you'll be able to explain more, but again, you don't have to get into very much depth, unless you'll be able to turn it into a learning experience.

Small kids are specifically curious about things, so it really is wonderful to utilize these occasions to teach them about everyday living, or whatever. Nevertheless, through the specific time of the request, it's ideal to keep it uncomplicated and firm. This might be a vital point because when their thoughts are set on looking to try and do some thing, the more you get into details and dialogue, the greater the opportunity will be that you just might cave in to their request.

This can happen more if you're prone to giving in to them. If there are rules of your family that are important, in addition to different things that you just usually don't like them to get involved with, it is most beneficial to stick to your guns. In case you don't, you'll end up with turmoil, and while time passes, more and more tension and stress.

The final factor to stop doing, is really the most critical of all. If you've perhaps failed at moments to make use of the initial two suggestions, you may be experiencing higher amounts of stress while you are parenting your young children.

Whether or not this really is the scenario, a person ought to constantly refrain from shouting, ranting, lecturing, or every other similar variety of harsh parenting methods. These strategies will only help to make things worse, as you may have already suffered. One way to avoid having to yell and scream is always to uphold the initial two recommendations.

As you go on doing that, you will possibly see a decrease in the entire pressure in the home. If matters have become truly undesirable among you and your sons or daughters, you might contemplate making use of the internet to obtain some parenting abilities education.

We talked about that not coming down severely on your kids is actually of the highest value. This is due to the fact it has been discovered that this will cause youngsters to act out possibly much more. The yelling leads to stress, which then brings about some thing called cortisol to get released from your adrenal glands to the brain, which then causes all sorts of difficulties.

Learn parenting methods which will keep your family stress free, by going to my Parenting Young Children web site at bestpositiveparentingtips.com/parenting-young-children. Read the story of the effects of cortisol!

3 Things You'll Need To Do To Achieve Control Of Your Out Of Control Teens!

2010-11-26T16:27:04+01:00

Are you currently having conduct issues with your out of control teens? If you might be, you will be unquestionably in need of some assistance. I highly recommend you scan along, because we are going to attempt to give you some hope that things will get better, as well as offer you some insight into why you are possessing these problems to begin with.

One extra fast thing just before we get started. I'm positive that you are incredibly busy trying to manage all of your household duties, as well as the numerous other obligations you've got going on in your life. The idea is that you shouldn't be hard on yourself about the problems you are now experiencing. What's finished is done! The very best way to make things better is to let go of all of that, as well as put emphasis upon what you must do now to boost your circumstances.

So let us advance onward, as I am quite sure your available time is quite restricted.

The very first idea to do concerning your out of control teens is to by some means, someway, generate a truthful evaluation of the entire present state of your household. Regardless of whether you can do this by yourself or not, is up to you. The point is that it has to be carried out to be able to have a very good beginning point to work from.

It is really an excellent concept to get some aid working on this due to the fact you may be so wrapped up from the every day happenings of your busy family life, that you simply may not be able to be unbiased about this. Again, it doesn't make a difference how this gets carried out, just as long as it gets done!

Besides the benefit of getting a clearer impression of what is going on inside your household, this exercise can get you moving in a very positive way. In our expertise, most parents who have these kinds of troubles, can simply get caught up in at least a moderate type of depression. Doing the inventory is a beneficial means of contributing, and that should make you feel good.

An extra, yet just as critical course of action would be to then take this inventory, and go over this cautiously. And by this we mean with raw honesty. This is not an occasion for glossing over the facts. The old saying, "the truth will set you free", has never been more relevant. Just a word of caution. The truth may possibly hurt somewhat today, however, in the years to come, you will end up being permanently grateful that you did it!

Right after you finish this, you'll be in a position to appropriately examine your inventory. It will then be time for making a handful of decisions, which is the last component of this entire exercise. Essentially, there are 3 alternatives. Are your out of control teens the trouble, are you the issue, or are your parenting methods the trouble?

Now, it does not have to be this easy. There might be some type of combination of the three that is taking place. The issue is that after taking this energy to go over all of this, you might have reached a different conclusion than you would have obtained in the beginning, which is the major reason for this article. Much of the time we get so swept up in our regular schedules that we get closed-minded. And this will not be beneficial, simply because there is usually another way to do something that we might not have thought of.

Eventually, if and when you take this project on, you will be able to see things in a different light. For instance, many parents believe that their kids are the trouble. If perhaps they had children that would always do as they say. If I were to express to you that much of the poor behavior of your out of control teens is most likely caused by your own parenting strategies, would that offend you?

If you are, try following the recommendations written here, then see if you're still upset. The reality is the majority of the time, it is our methods of parenting that are to blame. However, you are not responsible. Should you use harsh parenting techniques, you're merely carrying out the same things as the majority of mothers and fathers, which is, in all likelihood, how you were brought up as well.

Uncover how one can learn about the roots of bad behavior, and why most common parenting practices are the source of the problem at my Out Of Control Teens site at http://bestpositiveparentingtips.com

Top Three Suggestions For Effectively Using Parenting Articles!

2010-11-19T23:16:09+01:00

If you are looking for information about parenting articles, please read along so you can get a good sense of how to get the most out of this process.

The three tips in this article should help you to stay away from repeating the same mistakes you have been encountering already. As a result, you should be able to do a lot of research in a relatively short amount of time. This should prove to be very beneficial because, as a parent, I'm sure your time is very valuable. Just these few words before we begin. If you are doing research because you are having difficulties with your children, you most likely have been having issues for some time. You'll find it very important to do things as timely as you can. If you don't, as already mentioned, you will end up having the same issues, over and over again.

In other words, procrastination, fear, or depression might have kept you stuck in a rut, and left you unable to make some necessary changes. However, now that you are moving forward, if and when you find useful information, don't hesitate to implement what you have learned.

Allow me to share a trio of ideas concerning how to use parenting articles, so you can get the maximum benefits. This way, in the end, you will hopefully be done with this particular issue. Then you can move on to having fun with your family.

Number 1. The first tip that will help you, if you haven't already picked up on it, has already been mentioned. It is our experience during our many years of helping troubled parents and families, that, many people don't make it even this far. What we mean is that, so many families stay stuck in the rut of useless and destructive patterns of relating to each other. No matter what the reason, the end result is the same. They stay stuck where they are.

We have also found that many times the reason for staying where they are, is that they have lost the hope that they can find another way. When you begin to do research, and you read about other people and their stories and solutions, you end up building upon whatever hope you have that things can improve.

However, not continuing to move forward once you have begun your research, can have disastrous effects. It would be the equivalent of thinking you were going to get out of jail, and just before you were released, you find out that there is another charge from long ago that has suddenly resurfaced.

Number 2. The second tip is probably more important than the first tip, except that, without the first one, the second wouldn't be possible. It is crucial, as you do your research, that you supplement this information with some other, non-biased sources. In other words, many articles that you read, (this one included), have links at the end that they want you to click on. That means that they may be slanting, or spinning the article in a way that would try to make them, or their product, or their information, look good.

You might ask, how do I avoid this? The answer is very straightforward. You could have even utilized it to discover this article. Make yahoo or google your very best buddy. There is so much info you'll be able to locate on it; which includes forums and blogs that are related to the content that you are researching.

You are able to even do a yahoo search on what are the greatest methods to use yahoo itself. I just typed in those precise phrases in Google, and 332 million outcomes came back.

Please understand that this is very, very important. As long as you are doing research, especially if it is on the internet, you may as well know what you are truly dealing with. This way you can get the best results to help you find a solution to your problem.

Number 3. The last suggestion that will allow you to to get the most out of the parenting articles that you study, is simply this. As just mentioned inside the previous hint. Many of these content articles that you look at are from people who're attempting to sell you stuff. You, nonetheless have to click around the links, and buy something, before you get charged anything.

I'm not even saying that everyone is trying to rip you off, because there are many reputable people who are selling wonderful products and ideas or whatever. The point is that you just have to be careful. People are supposed to be ethical, but many times they are not.

One of the best ways to ensure that people are playing by the rules, though there is no guarantee, is the reputation of the article directory that you are reading the article on.

I don't know which listing you might be on as you are reading this post, due to the fact I post my posts on many different web sites. I can let you know that the top of the line listing, bar none, is ezine articles listing. When you type that term into a yahoo search, it will undoubtedly be the primary result.

In conclusion, I hope that I've helped you within your search to locate the solutions that you are searching for. Ultimately, the internet is an amazing resource. You just have to get cautious to know the quality of the source that you simply are reading.

Visit my Parenting Articles at bestpositiveparentingtips.com/parenting-articles. If you're disgusted with your current situation, this is where you can begin your life again!

Your Youth Discipline Issues Can Never Return When You Follow This 3 Step Plan!

2010-11-19T23:14:25+01:00

In the event you may require new youth discipline techniques, you've come to a good place! An extremely crucial thing to remember, prior to when we even begin, is always to make note of; if nothing changes, then extremely little or nothing changes. We're going to format a few essential concepts that you should know about so you'll be able to hopefully generate a few very positive adjustments to your lifestyle.

I'm certain you work lots of hours, as well as take care of your other many duties. I'm positive that your down time is quite scarce.

So let us get right to a few valuable parenting tips a person will be able to employ within your every day life. The first thing is, in the event you are suffering from problems due to the kids, attempt to step back for just short while. This may not be easy to do, nonetheless this ought to be done. Why don't we explain what we're sharing, to help you to see how crucial this can be to do.

Any time you are inundated with your normal daily routines, you are surely an extremely, busy mother or father. You are most likely so busy that you simply can just slightly maintain all your commitments. When you take into consideration that you are also having youth discipline difficulties, all of it could be very frustrating. The idea to step back might enable you to be ready to possess an accurate, independent perspective of it all.

As long as you'll be able to avoid spending too much time in the "bubble" of your respective every day existence, you will be capable to possibly see issues with a healthy point of view. With this, you will be able to now obtain a correct assessment of all that is really occurring.

The second, though every bit as crucial a factor to look at is to realize that, even once you have taken a deep look at your situation, you still might need to obtain an outside point of view, and maybe even more aid than that. The problem with all of this might be that, your situation with your children may have been going down hill for quite some time now. Matters can be worked out, so don't panic. However, the issue remains, how much time does it take, and exactly what means may need to be employed to get things back to normal.

In the case that you'll be able to comfortably steer about obtaining some sort of distinct perspective, as well as have the ability to measure the complete damages, you could then prepare yourself to do the ultimate phase.

The last important point is to ask the question: Do the youth discipline strategies you employ simply require a little tweaking, or is the trouble a lot more significant! Using the fresh perspective you now have, maybe all you should do is be more steady and persistent with what you're currently doing. You ought to, though, certainly be open towards the thought that you simply may possibly need newer and much more powerful parenting techniques.

In the end, no matter what your observations say, you ought to feel positive that you'll be able to do whatever it takes to keep you and your children going on the proper course.

If you've had enough of your current family woes, then...

Youth Discipline Is The Answer! Don't settle for less out of life! To see how to put the rewarding back into your family, visit Youth Discipline! Parenting has never been this easy and rewarding!

Is Discipline A Difficulty For Your Children: Consider Scream Free Parenting!

2010-11-19T23:12:44+01:00

Are you having problems disciplining your kids. If you are, you should consider scream free parenting! Please take a few moments to read this to see if you are interested.

If you're reading this, there's a really good chance that things are not going really well between you and your children. If it is any solace, know that many other parents are going through this as well.

Parenting is so hard these days, and with the tough economy, it is even harder. Not only that, children these days are exposed to many things at a very young age.

As a result, you probably find yourself in the same boat as millions of other parents. You have to work more than you want to, while you try to still be a good parent. To do all of this is definitely not easy.

Things are bad all over, but, in the end, that doesn't change things for you. You still have the same issues with your kids, and they still repeatedly, behave badly.

What you need to do first and foremost, is, don't be so hard on yourself. Things currently aren't great, and that's terrible enough. If you get down on yourself about it all, you will possibly get really depressed. And that won't solve anything!

So, you may be asking yourself, what then do I do? Enter scream free parenting. Just try to be open-minded to see that coming down so hard on your children when you discipline them, may not be the answer. Is that even effective anymore?

Many parents think that lecturing, or screaming and yelling at their kids are good means to discipline their children. Is using any means necessary really justifiable? And are these means working?

If you use these methods, you probably use them because you were raised with them, or they once worked for you. Maybe you still think they are effective or you use them because you are so used to them. In our busy routines of life, we don't have the time to examine every detail of what is happening.

Your kids and your entire family are so special, and this is all so important. The time is over for procrastination. It's time to solve this dilemma! Now that we are all here together, let's examine for a bit, what is so special about scream free parenting.

All those harsh methods we've mentioned, they all cause fear and stress in kids. This is not good because cortisol is then made and it travels to the brain. This forces them to a point of disorientation. The result is more misbehavior, they get screamed at again, and then the pattern repeats itself.

There are more really bad things that are caused by this cortisol. Your children will be subject to osteoporosis because it causes lower bone formation. It also causes blood pressure to rise, the immune system to be lowered, and lower memory which hurts learning capabilities. Low self-esteem and teenage delinquency is usually prevalent because of all of this combined with the tough parenting.

Most parents just want to bring up their kids with no hassles, and if they generally grow up normal, happy, and civil, everyone is satisfied. Sometimes, though, things take a turn, and before we know it, we are far away from where we started. This is unfortunate because children really only want to know that their basic needs will be met.

Do you want to learn the roots of bad behavior so you can make deep and lasting changes? Then.....

Learn about Scream Free Parenting! Why shouldn't your family be happy! To get the latest Parenting Information, visit Scream Free Parenting! Becoming an awesome parent has never been this easy! Go to Parenting Potentials Program

3 Reasons Why You Can't Afford To Pass Up Learning Positive Parenting Tips!

2010-11-11T19:28:23+01:00

Have you used positive parenting tips to make the relationship with your kids better? If you haven't, you will want to know how to after you read this article. Warning: if you don't want to make positive changes to better your life, don't read this now!

Reason #1: Whenever you are at complete odds with your children, you probably do what just about everyone else does, you yell, scream, and come down really hard on them. This may work in the short term, but, as I'm sure you know, it's only a matter of time before the trouble starts up again.

Reason #2: These typical harsh methods of parenting that you use when you come down hard on your children don't work, as you know. Here's the reasons they don't work and some very negative consequences!:

1. All these parenting methods cause fear and stress. This increased stress causes cortisol to be made up and sent to the brain. This then makes your children disoriented, and they will exhibit all the defiant behaviors you've seen through the years!

2. Your children will be likely to have low self worth, and they will likely be prone to violence or exhibit other negative behaviors.

3. Repeated exposure to the cortisol, can cause delinquency due to deeply rooted behavioral problems!

Positive Parenting Tips will teach you how to deal effectively with your children. This way, their brain will be able to grow without interference from cortisol!

Reason #3: What is often lost in the craziness of everyday life, and all the bickering among your family, is hope that things can actually be better. Can you imagine your children doing what you ask just because it's the right thing to do?

Are you tired of the ever present bickering between you and your kids? If you are, and you would like to see how positive parenting tips can improve your life, then...

Positive Parenting Tips Is The Answer! Don't settle for less out of life! To learn how to put the fun back into your family, visit positive parenting tips!

Parenting has never been this easy and fun! http://bestpositiveparentingtips.com

Hello again.

2010-10-23T19:18:00+02:00

Been quite busy doing family tree things. It runs out at the end of this month and I will have to give my notice in. lol Either that or pay for another year.

Hope all is well out there in the big old world. It's getting colder now and on Wednesday there was frost. Ahh well, soon be summer.

Just thought I would pop on and stick a photo I took on Thursday on my blog.
It is a photo of Lancaster Canal, just behind is an old part of the Royal Lancaster Infirmary.
Further along is a pub aptly named The Water Witch.

Take care and be good.

Fun, Fun

2010-09-01T13:36:33+02:00

Yeehaw. So much fun. Working on PetVille for my two Facebook accounts and for my fiances' account. Guess I better get my brother up and around for school, gotta change out the laundry also. After my mom and dad get done with the route, I get to go home and change clothes and then go to the ATM and get my money. Then drive over to Pratt and get minutes on my phone, pay for late fees on my fiances' laptop, get a new pair of headphones, and then a money order for the rent/utilities. Lucky for us, it is income based appartments, our rent is added to our utilities and all together it never gets over $200. Thank heavens. Well, take care. Later.

Being me...

2010-08-10T13:25:00+02:00

… is the last thing I ever wanted to. Living in a complex family with a complex situation. Acting normally when actually I’ve problems with my emotions. Being friendly, talked to everybody, befriended everyone, when the truth is that sometimes, it makes me look like a fool.

I was not born as a friendly person. I have a fair share of my problems. Once, I was a quiet person. Living in my own world. Talked only when I need to. But being that person had trapped me once. There was a time when I almost become nobody. Befriended with the wrong people whom, without my own common sense to change, might led me to live a totally different life.

But I changed. I managed to. But I changed too much. When I talked, I talked too much. It makes me look like a fool, sounds like a clown, acts like a stupid moron. When I spoke, I spoke as if what I am saying is the best. And when I kept quiet, people start asking as if it is something that is totally unbelievable of me. Sometimes, I need my own space. But people won’t let me to. It is strange when someone like me suddenly become quiet. Everyone expects me to talk. They enjoy it when I talked. Why? Because I sound like a clown.

There are also times when I misunderstood people. And people misunderstood me. It caused disaster. My life, my emotion is not a straight line. I have my ups and downs. But sometimes, the ups and downs are just too much. The graph changed swiftly. And I can’t cope with the change.

Some think I am strange. Some think I am okay. Some think I am friendly. But no matter what they think, not all people can actually understands my feelings. What I actually felt when I smiled. What I actually thought when I laughed. What I actually meant when I kept quiet. I am glad that I have bestfriends and close friends who understood me well.

But is it the time for me to change? Less talk? Less stupidity?

Recap IV - Birthday & Housekeeping...

2010-08-08T21:20:00+02:00

Before I went to the graduation dinner @ Bora Ombak, I celebrated my birthday with my beloved girlfriend Nor Asfalla at USJ. We watched a movie [Shrek] and had a nice steamboat @ Johnny’s.

During the break, my brother and I had a ‘sesi kemas mengemas’ of our room. Almost 6 years since we had our last housekeeping… hehehe

Photos here...!!

Separuh selesai..

2010-05-12T18:00:00+02:00

Blog rasmi aku dah pindah ke > http://kairulizwan.wordpress.com

===

Lama gak aku tak update blog ni. Last update sehari sebelum paper remedies. Haha… seminggu lebih dah. Masa ada exam asyik nak update, bila dah habis exam, tak mau plak update. Hehe.. Sekarang ni aku tengah dalam fasa hibernasi. Secara rasminya, part 1 LL.B (Hons) dah habis hari Ahad lepas!! Maknanya, 5 Julai nanti start part 2, lepas tu insyaAllah, tamatlah alam kampus aku.

Recap apa yang berlaku sepanjang seminggu lebih ni:

2 Mei 2010 [Ahad]

Paper remedies. Ngantuk giler sebab tak cukup tidur. Huhu.. Sape suruh stay up lagi las2 minute tu. Habis paper, pergi Khulafa’ kat pusat komersial. Lunch ngan Jemir. Pastu balik, ntah layan movie apa ntah kt laptop, sampai dah tak tahan, baru tido.

3 & 4 Mei 2010 [Isnin & Selasa]

Lepak rumah. Memang buang masa dan melepak dalam erti kata yang sebenar

5 Mei 2010 & 7 Mei 2010 [Rabu & Jumaat]

Pergi ofis. Bajet nak siapkan submission untuk CTA (Criminal Trial & Advocacy) tapi tak pun. Tengok movie ngan lepak2 adalah. Cuma hari Jumaat je buat kerja betul-betul. Tu pun sebab terpaksa. Sebab hari esoknya [Sabtu] dah start mock trial. Dah la submission tak buat lagi. Lepas tu, dengan masalah moot court lagi. Moot court II tu En. Amir ofis admin terbagi kat grup D. Call Cik B tanya leh guna court dia tak. Tapi sebab ofis hour dah habis, jadi tak dapat lah nak guna untuk weekend. Last2 Jemir booked satu kelas kat Cempaka. Pastu kes aku [PP v Gordon & Anor] jadi first case utk esok. Giler kelam kabut. End up aku ngan Akmal stay sampai 7 pagi & tak tidur malam.

8 Mei 2010 [Sabtu]

Dengan tak tidur malamnya, siap2 terus gi utk Mock Trial CTA. Sampai2, Dian mintak case kitorg jd 2nd case. Tuan Amir setuju. So, start ngan kes 4. Sampai giliran kes aku, cuba melawan sedaya upaya perasaan ngantuk.. haha.. Nasib baik boleh control lagi. Kitorg [DPP] kalah kes. Tapi tak kisah pun. Sebab yang penting advocacy skills. Lepas tu trial pun mcm main2 je. Haha..

Aku kena jadi witness utk final case [PP v Atip b. Ali & Ors]. Jadi Thambhy bin Kuthy. Sebelum tu aku terlelap kejap. Jadi kepala agak weng masa jadi witness tu. So, aku buat lawak sikit utk elak aku dari tertidur time testify. Buat accent India sikit. Lepas tu tambah sikit dialog2 sendiri campur penghayatan yg penuh mendalam. Hehe. ;D Nasib baik orang gelak. Kalau tak buat malu je. Kes ni pun kalah. Alasan judge sebab witness [baca:aku] tak reliable [sebab dlm skrip yg DPP bg, aku kena ckp parang yg accused guna tu tajam. Walhal, aku tak pegang atau nampak depan2 ketajaman parang tu]. Ada beberapa org salahkan aku sebab diorg igt kes tu kalah sbb aku wat mcm lawak2 masa testify [walaupun trial tu sendiri penuh ngan gelak2 : judge pun dah penat nak serious ;p] tapi sebenarnya sebab testimony aku yang tak kukuh. And testimony aku based 100% daripada skrip yg DPP bagi. So, aku rasa bukan salah aku.. ;D

Ok. Dah habis trial, ngan muka berminyak tahap gaban sebab tak tidur, ngan rambut dah macam anak Robin Williams dalam filem World’s Greatest Dad, kitorg pergi Pak Li. Kebetulan besday Kimah, jadi ada Put ngan Yun wat surprise2 sikit. Pastu lepas habis makan, timbullah idea gila aku. Ajak Akmal tengok Iron Man 2. Ngan hujan lebat tak igt, ngan mengantuk tak tidur, kami pun menuju ke Bukit Raja.

“Orang mengantuk tangkap gambar = gambar goyang”

Paling tak boleh belah bila aku terlelap masa tengok Iron Man 2. Haha.. Dah tak tahan sangat. Nasib baik Akmal gerakkan aku. Kalau tak mau aku berdengkur kat dalam tu. Habis tengok Iron Man 2, balik rumah, rasa happy sangat. Walaupun ngantuk, tapi rasa ringan je kepala: sebab Part 1 LLB dah habis!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D

9 Mei 2010 [Ahad]

Tidur siang. Haha. Tapi petang tu balik rumah jap. Celebrate Mother’s Day + Grandma’s Day. Hehe. Sebab nenek Kedah ada kat rumah aku. Jadi, Pak Teh, Maklong datang rumah aku, beli kek, kuih, egg tart etc. Suruh nenek potong kek. Pastu balik seksyen 8. Malam ada sesi dinner bersama Pak Mid. Makan kat restoran Asiari, SACC Mall.

Gambar culik dari Sabel...

Habis dinner kat Asiari, aku, Akmal, Remy, Jemir ngan Aiman pergi Khulafa’ Bistro kat seksyen 7 baru, tengok bola. Ingatkan nak la mamak tu pasang MU. Skali dia pasang Chelsea la plak… Tapi kitorg layan je. Dan lepas 90 minit+, kitorg pun frust dengan Wigan. Huhu..

10 & 11 Mei 2010 [Isnin & Selasa]

Tak buat apa pun. Lepak rumah je, pitih pun takdok. Haha. Lepak rumah seksyen 8 nih. Main internet. Keluar pun bila nak makan. Hehe.

12 Mei 2010 [Rabu]

Ulang ayat di atas. Haha ;D . Esok kot baru nak balik rumah aku. Bak kata Alin, rumah aku jauh beribu batu. Haha. Padahal seksyen 28 dengan seksyen 8 ni kalau naik kereta dengan purata speed 90 km/j dalam 15 minit dah sampai. Tapi, pastikan jalan tak jem. Kadang-kadang kalau timing salah, 15 minit boleh jadi 50 minit. Hehe…

Kesimpulannya, separuh perjalanan course LLB dah aku tempuhi. Tinggal lagi separuh. Lepas habis lagi separuh tu, what’s next? Aku pun masih kabur. Banyak sangat jalan yang boleh aku pilih, tapi tak semua jalan tu menuju ke tempat yang sama. Dalam erti kata lain, aku tak pasti lagi aku nak ke mana… Takpelah. Ada lagi 6 bulan untuk aku fikirkan

Dah panjang aku bebel ni. So, sebagai penutup:

~~21 April 2010 – Law of Evidence I~~

~~23 April 2010 – Bahasa Melayu Undang-Undang~~

~~26 April 2010 – Advanced Civil Procedure I~~

~~29 April 2010 – Advanced Criminal Procedure I~~

~~2 May 2010 – Remedies [Contract | Torts | Bankruptcy]~~

~~8 & 9 May 2010 – Continuation of trials [Mock Trial for Criminal Trial & Advocacy]~~

Part 1 LL.B (Hons) UiTM dah selesaaaaiii!!!

The Family

2010-05-11T07:59:25+02:00

Soon after we shifted to the government quarter, the family began to grow. The mother of my stepfather who was her only son stayed with us. She did not like me and my mother. She was the reason why I left home at the age of fourteen. When I left, there were only three sons and three daughters. Today I have four stepbrothers and five stepsisters. I lost count of how many children they have. Some of their children got married in recent years. When both our parents were alive, we met occasionally. My mother passed away in 1986 and my stepfather went in 2006 at the age of eighty five. My stepfather did not earn enough to support the family. My education was effected. It was just food on the table. Sometimes he had to borrow money from the Indian money lenders. The quarter had a large compound, and his mother planted vegetables and reared chickens. Occasionally there were people who came to buy vegetables and chickens. I helped out watering the plants and doing household work including cooking. That was the life. The only time I spent with my stepfather was in the 1950s’. During my school holidays I cycled to his workplace carrying his lunch. While he had his lunch, I looked into the office bins for used postal stamps. Stamp collecting was a common hobby in those days. I used to sell foreign stamps to my classmates, and that was my pocket money.My mother and my stepfather were the same age. Both are Buddhist while all the children except Boy are Christians. Years after my mother passed away, he complained to me whenever I visited him that he was very lonely. I could not understand him then. He bought a house and retired from the civil service at the age of fifty five with monthly pension. The married children stayed nearby and visited him very often. Besides Philips (the unmarried one) stayed with him. Being a Buddhist my mother was cremated and her ashes kept in a Chinese temple. My stepfather got very sick in his late 70’s. All the years after my mother was gone, the children tried to convert him into a Christian. He was very stubborn but when he was bedridden in his 80’s, he was forced to be a Christian just before his death.One month after his burial I visited the temple where my mother’s urn was kept. The keeper of the temple related to me this story.Twenty years ago the husband of the deceased would visit the temple on every full moon and half moon days of the month. He came alone by bus with some fruits as offering. He sat in front of the urn and cried all the time. He never failed to turn up until seven years ago. I told the keeper that the old man was my stepfather. He was bedridden for seven years and passed away recently.I was a shopping mall manager in the early 1990s’ and my stepfather used to come around every month. I understand now that he came to me after visiting the temple. The children are Christian and would not step into Buddhist temples. That was why he traveled by bus that took him two hours to reach from his home to the temple.Before converting my stepfather, I spoke to Nancy (the second younger stepsister) but since he was their own father, I kept my silence. As my last respect I kissed his forehead as he crossed over. Maybe they would not know how to handle a dead Buddhist father. There was an empty space next to my mother’s urn. I guess he would prefer to be there rather the heaven that was promised. Both shared a good lifetime together. In the dawn of life I lost some who I care for.

Sin boogers

2010-04-12T03:44:43+02:00

It was no surprise last night when Maddy, 8, told the Wal Mart cashier that she would be getting baptized the next day. The surprise was that she told her that she'd be going under water, all but her nose. I corrected her, showing her how it would be.This morning I woke up excited for Maddy's big day. I made her favorite breakfast and got ready on time (for once). I decided to run through the dunk with her one more time. I held my arm behind her back, placing the other one over her, plugging her nose. I dipped her back into the invisible water."There you go," I said, "and don't forget, your nose will go under, too." I didn't want her to be afraid."Of course it will, Mommy," she smiled and explained. "If my nose didn't go under, I'd still have sin on my nose. Then I'd have sin boogers."Then she said it again, in a low ominous voice, "Siiiiiiin boooooooogers!"I laughed so hard. The baptism itself was amazing. We were hidden from the church, tucked behind in a small room. It was the two of us, two other parents and four more kids. A worship song started and the three of us adults managed to sing along, having our own private worship time. My mind took me back almost nine years ago exactly. I had just become pregnant with Maddy and was thinking I might want to become a Christian. Within two short years, I had Maddy, a marriage and a divorce. I walked through hell with that little girl and noone would have imagined we would be standing there today, soaked with the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.Afterward, I presented her with a small gift. The necklace, heart shaped with a cross in the middle is inscribed on the back, "With God all things are possible." It seemed the perfect words for how I felt.With God all things are possible. He brought me from that pregnant girl searching for love, through poverty, through depression, through abandonment and he brought me here. Happy, healthy, married to a good man who loves God, with a new baby. That's what God can do.I have to believe He can do more still. He can hold my hand while I exercise when I DON"T WANT TO. He can help me say no to seconds. He can help me believe in myself.He can remove all my sin boogers.God Bless You and I love you!!!Acts 22:16And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.'

The paparazzi in my yard

2010-04-08T03:29:10+02:00

It was a dark and stormy day. It even started with a glorious power outage in which I marched the kids back upstairs and took a NAP!!! Awesome. The rain continued all day so my workout was indoors. I thought I was going to use the treadmill until I found that the power was out in the sun room where we keep our workout equipment due to some wiring we are doing in the back yard. No problem. I mounted the battery operated workout bike and started to roll...while standing still.While I was riding I noticed a little fat brown squirrel that kept running up to the window with his tail wrapped over him like a rain coat. It was so cute until I realized that I was being watched! Sure enough, within minutes, another squirrel appeared. They took turns running toward the window and back to the tree. As much as I enjoy watching nature, I never thought that nature would be watching me.A few years ago I had a favorite t-shirt that said, "I Love My Fans". I wore it to a Christian rock festival I went to one summer with my sister. The "facilities" at the campground/ field amounted to a long row of port-a-potties. After a long hot wait, I went inside and lined the edges of the hole with toilet paper. Just as I pulled my pants half way down and aimed my rear at the nasty tunnel of yuck, the door opened!!! The bewildered young man looked at the ground and said, "Oh my God" letting the door snap shut with a loud clap. I joked with my sister that the paparazzi were killing me!The truth is, we are being watched everyday. Our children, our families, coworkers and classmates see our actions and learn a lot about who we are. It feels good knowing that my daughter sees a mother who is trying to make a healthier, happier, more positive life. God Bless You and I love you!1 Timothy 4:12Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

Talking to myself

2010-04-05T03:25:13+02:00

Sometimes I make myself mad. Sometimes I make myself so mad that everyone around me wonders what they might have done to cause a scowl to ramp up on my face and cold air to gather around my presence. My day started out nice. The Easter baskets were a hit. I woke up early so I started cleaning the house. Lately, though, Anthony, my six month old doesn't like to get away from me for more than a few minutes. So, I'm trying to clean (so the house is nice when the family comes for dinner after church) and Anthony's screaming bloody murder. I ask my daughter to bring me his suit so I can dress him for church. She comes down with two halves from two different suits. She's eight, what the heck was I thinking? My husband is outside the whole time innocently doing yard work, while I'm getting myself all worked up. Why doesn't he help? I can't be in two places at once! I finally pick up Anthony and head upstairs and trip up the first two. I yell, "Don't worry about me, anyone, I just fell down!"Instantly my daughter came running, "I was trying to find the rest of the suit!""Not you, Maddy, I'm not mad at you Maddy", I said.I can't seem to figure out two things: Why do mothers think they can or even should do everything? and why do we try to be perfect?The house was clean enough. It didn't need mopped. I'm not perfect and I can't do it all myself. Is that so bad? Today I was stuck with an image in my mind. It's one I've never thought of before, but it will be with me forever. I know intellectually that Jesus died for my sins. But today, as I contemplated his death, I imagined him calling my name as he hung on the cross.covered in blood, in excruciating pain, he called out to me,"Jessica," like a mother would yell in the afternoon street when her child was taking too long to get home."Jessica," he yelled, in his dying breaths, he was calling out to me, the one he loves.because he loved me enoughto die If Jesus loves me that much, I need to start talking to myself a lot differently. I need to start saying things I would say to a friend when they were tired.I would say, "Relax. I love you just the way you are."God Bless You and I love you!!!Luke 11:17Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: "Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.

Dealing with weakness

2010-04-03T03:07:00+02:00

We all have weaknesses. I have been in an ongoing conversation with a friend about sin and confession. The whole thing started with the idea of confessing every sin you've committed since becoming a Christian. I didn't like that one. Not because I don't confess my sin, not that at all. Me and God are on speaking terms 24/7, although I don't know if he likes the late night calls about every little sound I hear in the house.Here's my problem: sin in a Christian's life does not mean that he or she does not love God. It means you are either growing, and continually moving away from sin or you are backsliding and moving away from God. In light of my sins, I wouldn't want to give a different impression than the truth: I am a human being who genuinely loves my Lord and boy has he taken me a long way away from where I once was!Think about this: some people can spend an hour every day in the gym. Some will take a long time to get to that point. My husband used to get mad at me when I would take breaks during a work out video. He didn't understand that I was not giving up. I was building up. I was weak and I needed to build myself up to become stronger.Life is a process. Jesus died to forgive all our sins and to bring us through the process. Today I am so thankful for my forgiveness. I love Jesus and I am grateful beyond words for his sacrifice. May you all be blessed during this season!God Bless You and I love you!!!The Weak and the Strong - Romans 14 1Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. 5One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11 It is written:" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.' "[a] 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. 13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way

Hard work pays off

2010-04-02T04:16:36+02:00

It's been an amazing day. I got so much done. From homework, to yardwork, to cooking like a chef, I did it all. I love days like these. My favorite thing is the payoff that comes with hard work. We've been putting in a new patio and it's been a LOT of work and a huge mess. Steve had three different people quote a price to haul it all off and all of them were in the three hundred dollar range. Then, one perfectly honest guy gave us some good advice: do it yourself. Not what we were expecting after all the doing it ourselves we already did. Today, we got back in there and started just that. It was a lot of work, but so beautiful within only a couple of hours. I carried three trees today and moved them! Okay, pine trees are not that heavy, but it felt so good looking at the empty spaces where piles of debris once sat. This is my devotion for today: hard work pays off. I've been working out since I had Anthony and little by little the weight is coming off, and I'm glad, but the important thing to remember when the going is slow is that it Will pay off in the end.One more thing. I have such a good family. After working in the yard, I took a hot bubble bath. I ran the jets for a few minutes to make the bubbles three feet tall and then came my favorite. Maddy likes me to poke my feet out one at a time and she scrubs them and rubs them. She's such a sweet heart. We played scrabble after dinner while Steve played with Anthony.Such a good day!Proverbs 28:19 (New International Version) 19 He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty.

Reinventing the wheel

2010-03-31T01:08:42+02:00

Last Sunday at church, I was talking to a complete stranger about an idea I had. Weird, I know, but it was meant to be. While we were talking, he made the statement, "You don't want to get into reinventing the wheel." To be totally honest, it's one of those adages I never understood. Okay, I personally think everyone has a few of those, but I'm here to admit it. For years, I didn't understand what hanging someone out to dry meant until the invention of the internet. But that's not the point. We were talking about using something already there to make something new. Basically, life is about reinventing the wheel. I sat in complete awe this afternoon of my husband. He got an idea a few weeks ago to take out the existing brick patio and build a new one. That was a workout in itself. But tonight, as I sat on the new patio holding my son drenched in the evening rays of light (thanks to daylight savings, hrmph), I watched him plaster stucco on one of two brick pillars he made out of the brick that used to be the patio.Amazed. My husband took what looked old and disgusting and broken and made it into something beautiful. Sometimes as I struggle to lose weight for good, not for a few months, I think that maybe I can't do it. I think look at this belly, covered in pink roads. Look at this stretched out poofy body. Can it ever be small? Can it pop a muscle?I choose to believe that yes, I can do it. If my husband can use a bunch of old moldy (moss, I know, whatever) bricks to build a beatiful stone pillar for a lamp post, I can remodel this big bag of delicious into a small sillhouette of lovely.God Bless You and I love you!2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.P.S. Today is weigh-in day. And I lost 3.8lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nerve Attack

2010-03-29T21:58:32+02:00

I've been in school for six years. SIX years. I am completing a 30 page research paper to finish the whole thing with a bang. Now, I spent hours today making the final touches when.........the screen went black.The culprit?My six month old son found the computer cord I dutifully hid in the crevace between the couch and the table and managed to disconnect it. The black screen was followed by shouts of "NO, NO" and it was not in disbelief, but in total delusion that a six month old should know what the heck I am saying.His big brown eyes blinked at me and filled with tears. I held him tight knowing fully that I was sending a drastically mixed message. I placed his busy butt in the swing and plugged in the computer. It would be an eternity before I found out if it was "autosaved".In the kitchen I slammed around pans, mentally cursing my husband for cooking dinner yesterday while I felt sick. Why did he do that? He only made more work for me!Sound familiar? I love my hubby and I was incredibly grateful that he made dinner, but at the moment, I was in the middle of a temper tantrum, and yes, I grabbed a handful of ______ to calm myself down.cereal.I'm a total carbaholic, but somehow it seemed better than spooning one heap after another of peanut butter down my mouth or finding any number of ways to eat bread. (Which some of you know I am not supposed to eat at all because I have Celiac Sprue)Cereal.I didn't do what I should have, wait and hope for the best. I pray that God will help me to be calm and stop going to the cupboard for a little help from my friends.P.S. Although I started my day by putting on a sports bra and bringing socks downstairs so I could put on my workout shoes and get hopping, in light of my responsibilities for the day, I thought it better to wait. For that reason, I will now attempt to squeeze an hour magically into my day.God Bless You, Love You!!!!Psalm 85:8I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints— but let them not return to folly.

Fat is a family affair

2010-03-29T03:42:00+02:00

So yesterday we went to my Grandma's house for dinner. I did not do so bad until Steve pushed cake on me like the bully drug pushers in an after school special. Dang, I forgot to "Just Say NO". At least when I was just about to lift out a second piece, he caught my eye and shook his head and I backed away ... from ... the cake!It's hard to eat healthier when you've grown up in a food addicted family in a food addicted world. Even today, I watched Steve popping handfuls of m & m's and he seriously offered me some. What is that? Then when we got home, he wanted to cook some Mandassi, basically African fried donuts. I gave him the "dissappear, please" look and he said to Anthony (the baby), "I think Mommy thinks I am trying to make her eat bad foods."Hmmm. Was that your concience talking maybe?I just want to scream! How do we turn this ship around? I think the real key is learning new recipes and new ways of eating. The other day I was at the store and wanted chocolate really bad but I took control and bought a yogurt. Somehow Those choices have to become habits.BTW am I the only one who has dreams about cakes when they have not eaten any in a long time?Matthew 26:41"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Choice of Family

2009-09-03T15:32:00+02:00

Children should at all times have the right to choose freely to be received in a foster family, be it temporarily or permanently, for instance in the case of domestic abuse or neglect. As soon as a mental illness has been diagnosed in either of the parents, including substance abuse, the children of the parents should be informed of this right.

Leo Now

2009-04-08T20:31:06+02:00

, April 8, 2009: In a way I am glad to learn that Leo, my ex dog is happy and completely socialized. He has a large human family and plays with the new owner's kids and nephews and nieces. But I am also sad because Leo will be another dog that I will always miss. I think about him often.He was very affectionate and protected me, but I had to give him up. Leo just didn't want to take his walks. Maybe I wasn't the right person for him--me, a single woman and very likely to remain so. One thing I have promised to myself is this: I will not give up another dog, ever. After Rubio, Leo and Chiquito, that is the last thing I would now to do. I don't think I'd want to go through that experience again.

Family needs help

2009-01-07T23:00:00+01:00

I am new to the blogging world but my family is in a bit of a crisis and a friend suggested blogging for help. Our home is about to be foreclosed and I can't afford to save it at this time. I have three children ages 9, 14 and 16 and I don't know how to begin to tell them that we are losing our home. My husband and I are small business owners and we have been greatly impacted by the recession. We have liquidated just about everything we own trying to pay everything but it just isn't enough. I know the recession may have not had an impact on everyone at this point but small business owners are truely suffering. I have taken another job but we have fallen so far behind on everything that we are still sinking. I am asking that anyone that can afford to make a donation (even if it is just a dollar) please help us. I have a paypal account where funds can be deposited. If you don't have a paypal account it is very easy to set one up and it is free. My paypal acount name is daremore72@yahoo.comThank you for reading and any help you can offer will be greatly appreciated.God Bless You

The Likeness

2008-11-19T19:47:00+01:00

Just finished The Likeness by Tana French, which follows on her evocative debut of last year, In the Woods, both set in Ireland. The Likeness would be a great readlike for Donna Tartt's The Secret History, with its focus on a closely knit group of college-aged students (grad-school-aged, in this case) who have secrets.

French's writing and emotional sensitivity are both superb.

The elements that most interested me are the thread of sacrifice woven throughout the book, French's evocation of sadness, and her portrayal of the settled, harmonious, familial, habitual, insidious, dysfunctional, oppressive, romanticised and idealised relationships and lifestyle among the five friends. I think that besides sacrifice, one of the major themes of the book is home: what constitutes home, family, the places we are free, the places we are held; and how some people sacrifice everything to create home, and some feel it a threat they have to run from, and some never find it, and some luck into it for a week, a year, a decade, a lifetime.

Sacrifice

"I don't tell people this, it's nobody's business, but the job is the nearest thing I've got to a religion. The detective's god is the truth, and you don't get much higher or much more ruthless than that. The sacrifice, at least in Murder and Undercover ... is anything or everything you've got, your time, your dreams, your marriage, your sanity, your life. Those are the oldest and most capricious gods of the lot, and if they accept you into their service they take not what you want to offer but what they choose." [Cassie]

"Look at the old wars, centuries ago: the king led his men into battle. That was what the ruler was: both on a practical level and on a mystical one, he was the one who stepped forward to lead his tribe, put his life at stake for them, became the sacrifice for their safety. If he refused to do that most crucial thing at that most crucial moment, they would have ripped him apart -- and rightly so: he would have shown himself to be an impostor, with no right to the throne. ... But now ... Can you see any modern president or prime minister on the front line, leading his men into the war he's started? And once that physical and mystical link is broken, once the ruler is no longer willing to be the sacrifice for his people, he becomes not a leader but a leech, forcing others to take his risks while he sits in safety and battens on their losses. War becomes a hideous abstraction, a game for bureaucrats to play on paper; soldiers and civilians become pawns, to be sacrificed by the thousands for reasons that have no roots in any reality." [Daniel]

"Regardless of what advertising campaigns may tell us, we can't have it all. Sacrifice is not an option, or an anachronism; it's a fact of life. We all cut off our own limbs to burn on some altar. The crucial thing is to choose an altar that's worth it and a limb you can accept losing. To go consenting to the sacrifice." [Daniel]

"[J]ust like Daniel, I've always known there was a price to pay. What Daniel didn't know, or didn't mention, is what I said right at the beginning: the price is a wildfire shape-changing thing, and you're not always the one who chooses, you're not always allowed to know in advance, what it's going to be." [Cassie]

Near the end [spoiler alert], Cassie considers mercy, which you can also look at in terms of what people are willing to sacrifice, including themselves:

"There's so little mercy in this world. Lexie sliced straight through everyone who got between her and the door, people she had laughed with, worked with, lain down with. Daniel, who loved her like his blood, sat beside her and watched her die, sooner than allow a siege on his spellbound castle. Frank took me by the shoulders and steered me straight into something he knew could eat me alive. Whitethorn House let me into its secret chambers and healed my wounds, and in exchange I set my careful charges and blew it to smithereens. Rob, my partner, my shieldmate, my closest friend, ripped me out of his life and threw me away because he wanted me to sleep with him, and I did it. And when we had all finished clawing chunks off each other, Sam, who had every right to give me the finger and walk away for good, stayed because I held out my hand and asked him to."

There's also some philosophising about content and discontent, with language about 'the sacred' and 'exterminated at all costs':

Abby says:

"our entire society's based on discontent: people wanting more and more and more, being constantly dissatisfied with their homes, their bodies, their decor, their clothes, everything. Taking it for granted that that's the whole point of life, never to be satisfied. If you're perfectly happy with what you've got -- specifically if what you've got isn't even all that spectacular -- then you're dangerous. You're breaking all the rules, you're undermining the sacred economy, you're challenging every assumption that society's built on."

Daniel takes it up:

"I think you've got something there. ... Not jealousy, after all: fear. It's a fascinating state of affairs. Throughout history -- even a hundred years ago, even fifty -- it was discontent that was considered the threat to society, the defiance of natural law, that danger that had to be exterminated at all costs. Now it's contentment. What a strange reversal."

The Friends

"On weekends they worked on the house; occasionally, if the weather was good, they took a picnic somewhere. Even their free time involved stuff like Rafe playing piano and Daniel reading Dante out loud and Abby restoring an eighteenth-century embroidered footstool. They didn't own a TV, never mind a computer .... They were like spies from another planet who had got their research wrong and wound up reading Edith Wharton and watching reruns of Little House on the Prairie."

"They were very tactile, all of them. We never touched in college, but at home, someone was always touching someone: Daniel's hand on Abby's head as he passed behind her chair, Rafe's arm on Justin's shoulder as they examined some spare-room discovery together, Abby lying back in the swing seat across my lap and Justin's, Rafe's ankles crossed over mine as we read by the fire. ... I was on full alert for any kind of sexual vibe ... and that wasn't what I was picking up. It was stranger and more powerful than that: they didn't have boundaries, not among themselves, not the way most people do. ... [A]s far as I could tell, everything, except thank God underwear, belonged to all of them. The guys pulled clothes out of the airing cupboard at random, anything that would fit; I never did figure out which tops were Lexie's and which ones were Abby's. They ripped sheets of paper out of each other's notepads, ate toast off the nearest plate, took sips out of whatever glass was handy."

This is what I am always looking for, and idealised as it is, I have sometimes lucked into it.

Sadness

"I was a wrecked thing smeared over with dark finger marks and stuck with shards of nightmare, and I had no right there anymore. I moved through my lost life like a ghost, trying not to touch anything with my bleeding hands, and dreamed of learning to sail in a warm place, Bermuda or Bondi, and telling people sweet soft lies about my past."

"We did something good. I thought that meant no damage could come of it. It's occured to me since that I may be a lot dumber than I look. ... If I learned one thing ... it's that innocence isn't enough. ... I didn't even try to explain to him what I was seeing, the fine spreading web through which we had all tugged one another to this place, the multiple innocences that make up guilt."

Long time coming...EDM 191 and 192

2008-10-11T04:02:33+02:00

Well, I've been away from the EDM yahoo group (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/everydaymatters) -- EVeryday Drawing Matters yahoo group...and they are almost at their 200th weekly challenge. I'm happy to say I've caught up to this week's, and last...but as for the bulk of the others? I have a long way to go! anyway, here they are: EDM 192 -- draw somethign that floats

From Everyday Matters Challenges (yahoo group)

And EDM 191 -- Draw paper money

From Everyday Matters Challenges (yahoo group)

Sorry about the wavy paper. I did the second on the backside of the first, and the sketchbook paper isn't strong enough for that. the money one is my favorite of the two...it commemorates a backyard camping adventure with our kids, one of their friends, and her mom. Six of us, hence the $6. It was a glorious starry sky, so we had no rainfly....sad to say, the rain came at 7 am...after a fitful night of sleeping, I was DRAGGING the next day. The water hyacinths was a quick draw near dusk. I'll try them again another time.

9 Tips For Taking Great Digital Photos

2008-08-04T09:38:46+02:00

IntroductionModern cameras are highly automatic in operation. They have auto focus and auto exposure. The camera will focus on the subject - often identified by a small circle or square at the centre of the viewfinder - and calculate an appropriate exposure by detecting the level of reflected light - usually from the same spot.A slight pressure on the shutter release will activate those two functions, without taking a picture. Further pressure on the shutter release will result in a photo being taken.1 Take care to Focus and Expose on the Subject of the ImageImagine you are taking a picture of your girl friend against the background of an interesting harbour. Your girl friend is six feet away while the harbour is around 50 feet away. You position your girl friend carefully - she is important to you - at one side of the picture with an interesting view of the harbour in the distance. Now do you want to focus on the harbour - or your girl friend? Position the square or circle at the centre of the viewfinder over the spot that you want to focus on and correctly expose - take a slight pressure on the shutter release - and keep that pressure while you move the camera to frame the image you want to take - then, and only then, push the shutter release fully down and take the photo. If you want to have everything in focus - then see 7 Depth of Field.2 Carefully Compose Your ShotBefore taking the picture take a careful last look through the viewfinder. Check the composition, and particularly that heads nd feet are included, and that all faces are visible in anything other the smallest of groups. With the camera taking care of focus and exposure - you have the time to concentrate on getting the composition perfect. Photographic amputation of limbs is unforgivable!3 Set the Colour Balance Correctly on the CameraDigital cameras have controls that allow the operator to set the nature of the lighting illuminating the subject. In general they will default to daylight, since shots are likely to be taken outdoors. On this setting, pictures taken indoors under artificial tungsten lighting will look yellow - they will have a yellow cast. Pictures taken under strip lighting will look green. Setting the camera appropriately will produce consistent balanced photographs. Look in the camera manual to see how to set the control - it is very easy. Flash guns produce a light, which is very similar in colour 'temperature' to that of daylight.4 Don't Expect Too Much from the On Camera FlashThe on camera flash is designed for convenience when shooting a small group of people. It will not illuminate a hall. When watching public events on the television it is somewhat surprising to see members of the audience in the Albert hall take a pocket camera out and shoot a picture with their flash. This is unlikely to be successful. Better to turn the sensitivity of the camera up - say to 800ASA - the 'film speed', or sensitivity. This might produce a better result. Do not confuse sensitivity of the camera with shutter speed. They are different. An on camera flash will illuminate only a short distance - as a guide pick up your cat firmly with two hands by the tail and swing it around at arms length - that is the sort of distance the flash will illuminate!5 A Tripod is Essential for Long Distance ShotsMost modern digital cameras come with a zoom lens that can take both wide angle and telephoto shots. This is extremely useful. However remember that when the camera is on its furthest telephoto setting, camera shake will become a problem. If you are taking a telephoto shot and the camera chooses a slow to medium shutter speed, the result might be blurred due to the movement of your hands while taking the exposure. Use a tripod - all wildlife photographers use them. They are a pain to carry but improve quality by orders of magnitude.6 Fast Moving Subject Require a Fast Shutter SpeedThe shutter is that part of the camera which opens briefly to allow light to strike the sensitive surface of the detector to produce an image. Fast moving object require extremely short shutter speeds in order to capture a crisp sharp image. Slower shutter speeds will produce a blur as the object moves. In general outdoor photography a shutter speed of 1/60th or 1/125th second will be acceptable. In contrast, shooting a formula one car in motion will require shutter speed of say 1/1000th of a second.7 A little About Depth of FieldIn days past, a photographer would measure the level of light at a location with a light meter and then calculate the best combination of shutter speed and aperture to correctly expose the film. This is now done automatically by the camera. Aperture is the measure of how much light is passing through the lens. The lens has an iris, which can be 'stopped down' to reduce the amount of light passing through the lens. A fully open lens will pass the greatest amount of light - full aperture - but this also reduces the 'depth of field'. The depth of field is the band of distance over which the subject is in focus. In 1 above, with full aperture either your girl friend or the harbour is in focus - but not both. By 'stopping down' the lens - reducing the aperture - both can be brought into focus. But as a consequence the amount of light passing through the lens is reduced. The length of time which the shutter is open will have to be increased to compensate.8 When taking Landscapes Avoid Putting the Horizon Across the Centre of the ImageDrawing the picture horizon in the middle of the image simply looks naff. It divides the picture in to two and fails to engage the viewer. Best to concentrate on the sky or the foreground. Photograph a setting sun with red sky, or a rainbow with the horizon low in the picture. Or concentrate on the landscape and place the horizon high in the picture.9 Be Aware of the Effects of Back LightingLet us go back to the example given in Hint 1. Imagine that in the picture of your girl friend in front of the harbour, the sun is setting, casting its golden rays across the sea and reflecting on the masts and other metal objects of the harbour with white clouds illuminated red in the dying rays of the sun. An evocative and romantic shot. Taking the shot with the camera will result in a beautiful background but a black shadow of a girl friend! Now that might be appropriate should you have had a particularly bad day with her and it might correctly reflect the mood. However using the on camera flash to fill in the darkness - to illuminate her face and show her features might be more appropriate on a better day!Christopher Thomas is both keen photographer and company director of Viewlink Ltd based in Amersham, Uk. The company focusses on digital photo developing for both amateur and commercial photographers. For more articles by Christopher Thomas please visit the company website at http://www.view-link.com

3 generations

2008-06-17T20:23:10+02:00

Anyway, this is what happened, somehow it sounds like a crazy story to me, but it’s mostly just sad news. The first bit of sad news is that Ned’s dad’s cancer is back, he’s got a small node that seem to be growing, it’s not eminent, but it seem to be pretty active, he’s going to have to go through treatment again. They are going to try some new non intrusive experimental thing, that seem to be working really well in a pretty small amount of the cases, and if that doesn’t work, the dr.s are talking about stem cell transplant, which is a pretty drastic process, I’m trying to learn as much about it as I can, just to feel less helpless in this. It’s really sad cause He’s been doing so well lately, and getting more and more into photography and planning for the future and so on, we just started thinking about putting up a show of Ned, me and his dad in the family store in state collage one weekend this summer and he’s been really excited about it.

So far it seem that the main thing both Ned’s dad and Ned’s mom are trying to do is to distract themselves from the whole thing, they visit a lot of friends and go out and they plan to go for a 10 days vacation in Spain before the treatments start. Which leaves Ned feeling really lonely and sad with all this, which means, that he sleeps a lot and just feels really low and down, I try to help, but there’s really not a lot I can do, plus, I’m starting to get upset about him checking out on life for the past week or so. I hope things will get better soon.

On top of that, Ned went to get some physical checkups for his birthday, after not going to the doctor for about 10 years, and of course, they came back with “everything is great but you have to change your diet cause your cholesterol is too high”, not surprising at all, and yet, pretty annoying especially since this would be a good time to take some comfort in food and ice cream and so on. He’s really trying hard to get used to all this new stuff, basically it means not eating anything he really likes… we are trying to get some new ideas of what he can eat in the restaurants we go to and to eat more at home where I can control the type of cheese and amount of salt and so on that goes into the food. Basically we decided not to take it too heavily and to just cut off the dessert and see what happens in a few months. He’s also really down about that and I’m sure the physical sugar addiction withdrawal symptoms doesn’t help at all.

A combination of stress and the crazy hot weather also made me get my period a week late, it never happens, for about 5 days I was almost sure I was pregnant. It felt like nobody’s body was working the way it’s supposed to and also, as if this is all some strange allegory about generations changing and Ned’s dad about to depart from the world while Ned’s getting old and a possible new generation being created. Both Ned and I were freaking out about that one, so much so that we avoided meeting anyone for about a week or even writing or talking to anyone about it, it was one of those “maybe if I don’t talk about it it will not be a part of the reality” type of things. It was also really strange because I did found myself having a lot of doubts about what I want to do if I do get pregnant, which I never really considered before, I mean actually having a baby in this stage of my life. Also, I think that the cancer and this at the same time made me feel like this was too much a coincident to ignore. I don’t know why, but now that I know I’m not pregnant (thanks gods or whoever…) I’m less scared about ned’s father’s caner, as if those two things are somehow connected and part of the load is off on one side of this strange see-sew and so there got to be a change on the other side to balance it. But it definitely feels like this whole week was about choosing between 2 paths or alternated realities.

Thisvery oddly goes with the book I’m reading now which is called Kafka on the shore and seem to be all about alternated realities and strange ominous things happening. I don’t know, it’s all just very odd and sad. And even though I’m exceptionally relieved not to be pregnant, a part of me feels a big sense of lose now, and as if my life somehow got to a standstill and I need to do something to make them move again.

Cancer

2008-06-11T20:30:09+02:00

And sometimes it just doesn’t work.

I’m sitting in Urban Rustic, Ned and I just finished breakfast and he took off for the gym, we are meeting here again after he’s done, It’s 2:00 now, so probably, he’ll be here at about 3:30, or something like that.

In my visit to Israel I realized how much I missed being out on my own. I’m not sure why, but in New York I don’t really get to do it at all, it’s not exactly that I feel like Ned will be upset if I choose to be with myself rather than with him, or maybe it is, in part, and also, that when we are apart, I can feel this tug in my heart to be together again.

Or maybe that’s just that fear of hanging out with me, and being faced with my thoughts and feeling on my own. It felt, in Israel, in those 2 weeks of seeing so many people and yet feeling totally trapped in my own mind, in my own thought, and needing to write just to express them – like a dormant animal, a big scary wild thing in me that attack me from the inside if I don’t cover its existence with words and love and closeness.

It’s so hard to find words sometimes. Sometimes it’s very easy, but not right now, and I don’t feel like explaining, the fingers touching the lap top screen, and I try to avoid the touch pad in the middle cause that makes the lines jump and everything mixed up, even more than it already is.

I’m sipping of cold coffee with too much milk, Indian music is playing and I want to do anything but sit here now. I came here trying to get some work done, which is what I call those days to going out and answering some e-mails out of the house, designating those 2 hours a day when Ned’s in the gym to communicating with other people. I keep making those lists in my brain of stuff to do and people I need to write to, but when I actually go over the list in the mail program, I can’t bring myself to answer even one e-mail. There’s a couple of girls in Israel I need to write to, a friend that’s visiting from upstate NY that I need to make plans with, good friends in Israel I haven’t talked to in ages, my family, my cousin who lives in Paris who just had a baby, a couple of store related ones. And they all congeal to this big weight on my heart that I don’t feel strong enough to do anything about.

A man that looks a lot like my first boyfriend walk to the outdoor patio holding a book and a couple in the table next to me are both complaining about her mother coming to visit.

It’s so hard to write, and it scares me how since I moved here, my communication skills just went down to zero, I never use my phone anymore, it’s too difficult, and now, even e-mails, which used to be the most safe inducing method of communication are also becoming almost impossible. I don’t know if this is just because I don’t have to deal with those things as much now, when Ned can do a lot of them for me, like call friends to see or talk to clients, or if my mental state has deteriorate in irreparable ways. I’m scared to even try and find out.

I’m looking at those stupid e-mails again, and for some reason, which is avoidance really, it’s very important that I check some obscure image on facebook , and I get distracted and then I close it and stare blankly at the e-mail list.
My last blog entry, I recall was also about the difficulty of answering e-mails. It’s pathetic, and this one wasn’t even supposed to be about that, I’m just stretching it, filling time so I don’t have to write about what I wanted to write.
Ned’s dad got cancer again. Right after our wedding, he had a scan and it turned out the tumor he has became active again, it was a rough year but he got over it, losing his hair and turning all yellow and gray and feeling like shit, but he won, and he had a really wonderful year of being clean and living his life. In that year, 3 people I know lost a parent for cancer, and I was feeling so lucky that he made it through.

And now, it’s happening again.

We met them yesterday, after he had a meeting at the doctor, we had dinner at a restaurant in Willimaburg and talked about what’s going on. A lot of scary words were flying above the table – stem cells and radioactive and non-invasive and doctors terms like “challenging but manageable” and “very low mortality rates” and “chemo”. All I can think of is how much harder this is for me then the first time, because then I was mostly sad for Ned, and now I’m sad for him AND for me, that it’s like having 2 sick relatives, Ned’s father and my father in law. And how, though I’ve known for a week that he’s sick, I haven’t wrote or shared that with anyone. Hoping somehow, that if I don’t document it, it will somehow be forgotten and disappear.

Again

2008-06-07T20:31:10+02:00

Saturday, June 7, 2008: In all honesty, I cannot abandon my cat. I need a home, that's true, but she's not a disposable thing that I can let go of. I cannot forget how great my cat is and has been. She's my family, the only one I can relate to.

Throwing surprise parties for grownups.

2008-05-05T01:40:00+02:00

(Yes, I know I am theoretically a grownup. But still.)

The Pizza Slice

2008-03-07T02:23:43+01:00

Friday, March 7, 2008: I sat down to dinner with my sister and her family. A few minutes earlier I had seen her take 2 small pizzas out of the freezer. I looked at them and wondered: Will I get one this time? After a few minutes in the oven, the pizzas were put on the kitchen counter. Can I have one?, I asked, looking at her husband Dave as he bit into a slice. No, there's not enough, was her answer. Whatever happened to sharing?

Fun with genealogy

2008-01-08T04:04:37+01:00

On a trip to Ellis Island with friends visiting from Nebraska, I learned the following: when my great-grandfather left Ukraine, the children he left behind (my grandfather and his younger brother, who would join him in Brooklyn little over a decade later) were aged one and negative one. Granted, many people at that time and place didn't always know how old they were; my grandmother, for example, was never sure whether she was born in 1917, 1918, or 1920. But I'd prefer to believe I just uncovered a fascinating ninety-year-old family secret, of course. Being a tourist in my own city, I took only one photograph today:

TV Soaps etc.

2007-12-16T13:40:00+01:00

I am sad, I watch TV soaps. Anyway I have just been thinking, poor Amy in Corrie. Now not only has she got a mum in jail and not only does she never smile or even say much she has even more problems.A/ Can she not walk? She seems to be carried most of the time. I know she is a "soap" child. I mean to say, T.J. in Emmerdale rarely moves from the settee. Do these kids never play with other kids??B/ Most of the "soap" children will grow up with low self esteem. Why? Because no one ever wants to look after them. Their parents try to pass them from pillar to post. Either that or the other way round. "Will you take Amy?" someone says, "I can't," says someone else. Poor Amy is just waiting, maybe just hoping that someone, somewhere will be really happy to look after her. I know it's just not Amy that is not "wanted." Loads of "soap kids" are. Then the ducks, I am sure my boys were never excited about going to feed them. I don't remember going especially to feed the ducks. My poor kids may be traumatised by never going. Then there is "Family" mostly Eastenders. Family is important, you can rely on family. Even when family are miles away and never been seen for ages. lol Even when family are slaggingeach other off. Maybe they mean, other people should NOT slag of family but family can. Mind you, maybe our family is boring, lol I know people wouldn't turn on their TV to watch us for half and hour 2 - 3 times a week. Maybe better than sleeping pills though.I will keep watching.

Matters of the Heart

2007-11-14T08:11:06+01:00

I'm as tired as only a day in the hospital can make me, the weariness that's not so much the will to sleep, as the will to not think of feel anymore.

Hospital, like airports, or school, looks the same, no matter where in the world you are. I'm thinking about that when I'm walking toward the elevator, about how maybe if I just open a door or turn into a room, I'll find some secret passage that connect me to a different hospital, in Israel maybe. Then I think that maybe that already happened and I just didn't feel it because all the hospitals looks the same. They have that same feel of pleasant boredom, of cream color wall and those awful reproduction of paintings and prints with flower in them and the same light. And they have the same time zone, all of them, in which minutes feels like hours and half hours feels like days, and going out, after spending just a few hours in there, I feel like I grew old by at least a 100 years.

His mom had some heart thing, she's fine, they had dinner with us on Sunday, and then dessert and then they went home and in the hours after dinner she felt a pressure in her chest and in the morning, she went to the Doctor who send her to a Cardiologist who send her to the hospital where she had an Angiogram and and Angioplasty.

I went through the same thing with my mother, about a year and a half ago, just before moving to New York, being in the hospital, I remembered everything, what comes before what, and what will the DR. say and when not too move and everything. I was looking through the window in the waiting room, expecting to see the mountains of Jerusalem like they look from Haddasa hospital, and not Manhattan. I remembered different small things from when my mother was in the hospital, then from when my sister and my grandmother, it feels as if every hospital visit I do, it harder to carry because it carries in it all the other hospital memories folded in it, in hospital time, like layers of films laying one on top of the other.

The Dr. is talking about changing life habits and sports and eating differently and medication and I've heard all this before, and it makes me scared about how I'm eating and how I'm not doing any sports. And it also makes me think that there's nothing wrong with her, really, that she's having the symptoms of age, that at some point, everyone i know would be facing the same visit to the hospital with some heart problem. I'm thinking about my mother and how I felt like I was breaking her heart by leaving. I'm thinking that I'll be old one day and die. I'm making impossible deals in my mind, agreeing to live only till the age of 60 if all this will be spared of me. If only not to have to deal with getting old. I rather die, then deal with the idea of my own mortality.

Later at home, I'm cutting papers for prints and stop in the middle, I surf the net, I check facebook for no good reason, I finish a painting I started the other day, not because I want to, but because I can't bare to start something new, and I want this day to end with at least one thing finished. I draw flowers and paint them yellow until all the page is filled and the painting is done.

I think about this blog and how, a while ago, I would come back from a day like this and just want to write about it and how now, I just want to turn on an audio book. I don't want to listen or express my thoughts and feeling. I'm trying to figure out why and come to a vague conclusion that it has to do with space. I miss myself, the way that I was before, the way that I was when I was writing more. I miss the fearlessness of not being afraid to loss everything because I feel I have nothing. I miss drinking instead of eating, I miss being thinner.

But I don't, not really, I'm just scared of getting old I guess.

Granddad.

2007-08-09T00:05:00+02:00

I have been reading a blog by a granddad who has never met his grandson. Speaking as a person who never met her biological father and nearly had a granddaughter adopted, I have great sympathy.Why are families like this? So sad.When granddaughter's mum decided not to have her adopted after all, the social worker said that it had been a waste of paperwork! Granddaughter's dad said he wanted to say something!Well, whoever she was, that was a really awful thing to say. Such a caring person she must have been, the ratbag. I know if I had been there I would have been arrested for assault. I am a peaceful person but that would have been a good case for me to have lamped her one. The ratbag should have been reported. Lucky for her that I was told a good while after. Might as well make a plea while I am on this subject.......Victor, in CA. Halfbrother. Prove to me you aren't my halfbrother. I still, truly believe you are. The photos almost prove it. You don't know how close you were to getting a visit from me last year. We were only in SFO. Not far away. Ahhhh well, good luck to everyone who is wanting to get in touch with missing family members. Life is too short.!

Canada Immigration

2007-05-25T12:37:01+02:00

Immigrate to Canada as a permanent resident for yourself and your family. Great opportunity in the worlds best destination. Visit www.polarim.com and check your chances! Free Assessment!

A dream about my parents

2007-04-24T04:15:03+02:00

My yoga teacher shoes me again how to do sun salutation. In my dream I'm in New York but it looks like Israel. Not anyplace specific, just the familiar streets and feel and people. Her phone ring and she answers and pass it to me, it's my father. He's talking to me, I ask him how is he doing. He's telling me that my mother's in the hospital, that she had a minor heart attack, that he calls to ask me if he can take something of mine and break it so he can sue the insurance company and get the money to pay my mother's hospital's bill.

I can't really hear what is it that he wants to break. Actually he hasn't called to ask if this is OK to break my things, but rather, he was afraid to dig in some more unwanted information about me. So he wanted to know that it's safe to open that object. I ask him what is is that he wants to break and he say "the thing with the big screen", "The computer?!" I ask, and he say "no, the TV" and then he's quite for a while and then he say "see, that's why we can't talk to you" cause for him, my wanting to know what he intend to open was an admission of guilt, I try to explain to him that there was nothing I was trying to hide in either the TV or the computer, that I just wanted to know, but then the phone hangs up and the call is lost.

I'm in Ned's parents house, but it's not really their house, it looks just like my grandfather's house in Pardes Hana. one of Ned's cousins is there and his 3 daughters, in reality he has 2 daughters and 1 son, but in the dream the kids are all different. The 3 girls looks the same, all thin and white with long black hair. One of the girls sits on me and we all talk. Then one of them say "I can't be your friend, I saw a show about you on Television and your dad was giving and interview saying you are evil". I got that angry fear in the pits of my belly, like I'm not in control, I'm hurt, I also know it's a lie, that whatever I did to my parents couldn't be so horrible. In the dream I remind myself of reality, that all I did was write a blog and put some nude photos on the net, that I haven't broken any laws. The two girls go out of the room talking between them.

I hear my father's voice from inside my bag, as if the phone was switched on and the call was somehow answered without the phone ever ringing. I run toward my bag looking for the phone all the time hearing my father say "Hello, Hello, Anybody there" but by the time I find it, he already hanged up the phone. Then in less then a split second he appears there. He say that he had to come over cause he couldn't reach me on the phone. I'm upset, I say "please tell those girls that I'm not evil so they can talk to me". I'm saying it in a cynical voice and trying to mask my feeling, trying not to show how upset and scared I am.

My mother also appears, and Ned's father, he's nothing like he is in real life, in the dream he's a very old mad that walks very slow and his neck is sort of twisted. My parents are angry, I'm angry, but they try to pretend that every thing's OK. He shows them around the house and the yard, and my mother get excited about everything and give him a lot of compliments, she's doing it not because she is really excited, but because she's trying to make a good impression. She's not talking to me and neither does my father. I'm drifting away from the group as anger and sadness just sits on my chest and I feel heavier and heavier, like I'm chocking on my tears.

Ned's father ask me "Is everything OK? What's wrong" and my mom turn to me and say "Yes, what's wrong?" My anger chokes me on the inside, I feel like smashing things and yell at them all, and yell at them for not talking to me for so long, for not being there for me, for leaving me with this burden of guilt and shame, for not respecting me as an adult. I don't even know where to begin, in the dream I feel the tears choking me on the inside but I can't scream or cry or talk or anything.

They continue with the tour and Ned's father leads them to where, in my grandparents house was the tool shade. He say "this used to be the old boy scouts meeting place, but now it's abandoned" the shade a total opposite of the beautiful lawn and the rest of the yard that's glistening in the sunlight - it's dark and shaded and falling apart, all rotten wood and barred doors and windows. It looks totally misplaced, like a spot of evil in all the summery shiny good. My mother say "I'll donate money to help you rebuilt it" And I know that when it's extra important for her to be loved or liked she's always very free with money she doesn't really have. And I feeled ashamed of how eager she is to please without even needing to.

She takes out a check book and write a check, as she bends over a desk to sign, I go behind her. I want to touch her, as if by accident, like I would seeing a former lover that I still love in the street, I know it's not going to help but I just want to feel some warmth on her skin cause I can't feel any warmth from any other place in her, she's harsh and cold and ignore me entirely. She doesn't react, but she moves, as if naturally to not allow me to touch her. She avoid my touch, as she avoid my eyes, or my words or my feeling.

I wake up feeling really bad, the dream makes me sad and scared. Then I think about reality, but it's not comforting at all, actually I realize that at least in the dream my parents were present in my life, they idd communicate with he, while in reality they haven't.
It's been over 9 months since my dad last spoke to me.

I wish this was over. I miss them.

bicycle

2007-03-07T09:00:00+01:00

My son is asking for a bicycle, It is spring outside and he is about to rush about the courtyard with his friends. The old bicycle does not suit already, he wants a new one. What can I do? Probably I should buy a new one otherwise he will be pressing me like it was with the handy. Well, I hope no flying skates will be invented before he becomes adult.

Serenity

2006-11-15T15:43:35+01:00

Well, I know I don’t look it, but I am a year older. I should be wiser and maybe I am, but I forgot the ginko again, so I can’t remember. For some time though, I have had a theory: If you stay married long enough whether you actually say it or not, you are living the Serenity Prayer. I can’t say I always think of it in those terms either, but it is a socially acceptable way of writing it in this blog and God knows I don’t want to be banned for bad language! For those of you who have not been introduced to the Serenity Prayer let me give you the words, so you know what I am talking about."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."I have been married a long time. My husband and I have weathered many storms. We have not always gotten along and we have not always liked each other. I’m not sure if we have always loved each other. I know we have each taken our turn at treating the other un-lovingly. Over the years I have decided that each couple whether consciously or not makes a choice if they will (or can) accept what the other person will dish out. If they decide they can’t take it they either leave or make it abundantly clear that they will not tolerate the behavior. If your partner is willing to change the behavior, then you have shown the courage talked about in the prayer. If you decide to accept the behavior you are practicing the serenity part of the prayer. There is a popular saying that says ‘pick your battles’. If you understand that and put it into practice, you have the ‘wisdom to know the difference’. When we were younger we agreed to disagree on certain things. Over the years though I have noticed that we have closer on most of our issues of contention. Now that our children are grown there is less stress and we can relax and enjoy each other more often. The reason we can do that is that we have continued to cultivate our friendship through the years knowing full well that the children would not always be living with us.We still find each other interesting and we both try to stay interested in each other’s own pursuits. In other words we do have separate interests that may or may not involved the other person. As long as we cultivate an interest in what is going on with one another, we can remain in tuned with our partner. Now, we realize that our time together is limited and we want to do the things we planned long ago before one or the other of us can no longer enjoy the plans of our youth. Of course money is always an issue too so we can’t just pick up and go or do things when we are trying to make sure we have enough money to have a comfortable retirement. With God’s help we will live long enough and stay healthy enough to accomplish all that He has planned for us and then we will be an example to our children and grandchildren and maybe even our great grandchildren!

Hayward? Pleasanton? Union City?

2006-11-12T21:44:09+01:00

Anybody out there from any of these places??? I know they are in California. Not far from where sister and I went on holiday. That seems ages and ages ago now. It was only June. Oh, happy days.If you live in, Hayward, Pleasanton or Union City and you are over fifty, I would love to here from you.

Our Beautiful Princess

2006-11-10T15:30:00+01:00

I have bored some of you with my telling how wonderful my two grandsons are and now I will bore other people with how wonderful my elder grand daughter is! She is the only light haired grandchild I have and she has sort-of green eyes. She will be 6 in January and sometimes acts a lot older. Especially when there are younger children around. I guess it is the ‘mother instinct’. She has a round cherub face that lights up when she smiles. She loves pink and Angelina Ballerina. She wants to be a ballerina when she gets older. She also loves me to read to her and I love it too! She is full of hugs and kisses and she shares them with those of us who are worthy. She has been convinced she is a “Beautiful Princess” since she was born. Her older brother has always (well almost always) tried to protect her and keep her from getting hurt. Her brother that is closer to her in age has not always gone along with the game plan. For a long time he just didn’t like her! She wouldn’t give up on him though and tried to make him like her much to his dismay. Finally he was convinced like the rest of us she is a sweetie. She is also very smart. Her mom home schools all of the children. We watched her hold back on reading until her older brother got a real good handle on it. (He just didn’t want to read) Now she is going great guns and will soon pass up both boys if they aren’t careful! She loves to color as do I and so she bought me a coloring book and crayons for Christmas last year so we could color together! She snuggles with her daddy nearly every day and he loves it because he knows he will not be able to do that too much longer. Her daddy is very outwardly affectionate and he will miss all those hugs and kisses but, as we all know our children do grow up and away all too soon! She is a good girl and loves to help. She will fold clothes, wash the table, (at least what she can reach of it) and set the table, almost anything you ask. Another thing she loves to do is sing. She has sung since she was really small. She knows the words to almost all the songs we sing at church. In fact, when we have church outside in the summer, one of my friends who lives across the street from the church can hear her loud and clear! She was a blessing right from the beginning because after I had two sons and then her mom had two sons we were really ready for a little girl! She may have said the funniest thing of all recently when her grandpa said, “ I love you!” She said “I love you too!” and he said “I love you more!” then she said, “Maybe you do!”

not so Happy Days

2006-10-26T15:30:00+02:00

I would like to say that I have been so busy that I just haven’t had time to blog, but I would be lying. I don’t like to write when I don’t have fun or positive things to say. I guess though that this blog is suppose to be things I think about and I am not always positive and I don’t always have fun!I have been pretty depressed because my children and grandchildren have moved and the prospects of them coming back are pretty dim. I miss them very much and I need to figure out how to adjust to being alone so much again.My Dr. put me on MORE medicine for the diabetes and I thought I was doing better without it, but she doesn’t like the fact that it spikes up so high on occasion. SO, I am not on insulin, but I do have to use a needle to administer the med. Now, that doesn’t really bother me except I just didn’t want to take any more stuff!!! I have insurance that covers almost all my prescriptions and yet my monthly prescription bill is over $70!! This is just crazy! In spite of the fact that I continue to lose weigh each month; my body continues to sabotage me. My friend lost her father suddenly a little over a week ago and it really made me think of how I felt when I lost my dad almost 30 years ago. That made me sad too. Besides my daughter-in-law losing her dad and my husband and I (finally) making our Will there have been a lot of depressing things in the news and in politics.This election better hurry up or I am going to just keep the TV off until it is over! Even the candidates I like are running negative campaigns! I feel so bad for those young men and women who are in Iraq and the families of those who have lost loved ones over there. It seems like the same feelings I had when my husband was in Vietnam. I didn’t know if it was a war worth fighting then and I really don’t know that now. I know our president practices his Christianity when it is to his advantage and it embarrasses me as a Christian. I wonder just how many others that are running for office are going to do the same thing when they get there. There are certain moral values that I just can not go against, but if I vote for a person who says he or she believes in what I believe in and then goes out and votes against it, what am I suppose to do? This is autumn, my favorite time of year and the colors here have been beautiful even if the weather has not always been great. I should feel good; I am a child of God. He loves me and knows my heart. I have been trying to stay positive and keep my spirits up, but it has been hard. This week I am going to see the Pickle and I know that should help. OK, I am done whining. I know I have a good life. I live in a country where I can say the things I just said here and not go to jail. I know that I am loved by God; but also by my family and my friends. I have a great job and a really super husband. I have a nice home and a reliable car. What am I complaining about??

The Wonder of Life

2006-10-13T15:30:00+02:00

Well, I made it! I got the call! Yes, a return engagement to baby sit the Pickle! Our schedules have been pretty hairy lately, so it was difficult to make this happen. But, one of the dear people I work with traded days with me to make it possible. Thanks JC!! (Think what ever you want). Our little lady is growing by leaps and bounds! She has 2, count them 2 teeth and the way she was gnawing on everything she is bound to have many more soon. She can do her own rendition of crawling, which from pictures I have seen and descriptions I have heard from my parents may be a lot like the way I crawled at the same age. She pulls herself up (by hook or by crook or even the dog given the chance) and walks around things. It is hard to explain but if you let her she will feed herself with a spoon and she fed me too and washed my face when she determined I was done! It isn’t that she never cries, but when she cries it is fairly easy to figure out what the problem is because she has such a pleasant temperament. She says “da da”, “ma ma” and “ba ba” and I am sure she knows what they mean. She also sings…”la la la la la la” I have to admit she will at least try to copy any simple sound you make…including a fake cough! She is truly a happy baby and a joy to be around! (Of course, I may be slightly prejudice)Pickle is doing something this weekend that even I have never done. She is going to New York City! You can find out all the details from Pickle’s Papa on his blog “…and then there was Pickle@blogSpirit.com. I pray they have a safe and wonderful time.I’m sure some people just can’t stand it when grandparents brag about their grandchildren, but I really don’t care what they think. I’m not writing to them; I’m writing to you, the ones who have grandchildren or are about to have grandchildren and you just can’t say enough about them. There is no other feeling than when your child becomes a parent. Grandparents all over know what I mean. If I have to express it in words I guess I would call it a “Wonder of Life”. The world has 8 of them, so far I only have 4 and I thank God for them.

A Letter

2006-10-07T00:56:45+02:00

Hay sister, how are you doing?I'm sitting at Starbucks in large Barns & Noble, on union square, He's at group, that's a couple of blocks away, and when he has group, I usually tour around the book stores or walk around the area giving myself navigation assignments or sit in the park. But today I'm so tired, I don't even have the energy to wonder about anymore, and I already had 3 cups of coffee so I'm going for tea this time, it's Lavender and Camomile and smells like bathroom air freshener, I wanted peppermint but they didn't have any and this was the closest flavor to Peppermint that I could find.The last few days had been really busy, we are planning the wedding that will take place in the 22 of the months. It's very weird and scary and strange, we are both so happy, but also very aware of the fact that we would rather wait a few more month and not get married at the moment and that a part of the reason why this ceremony is taking place now is about legal paperwork that will allow me to stay in New York. That's why, I think, it's very difficult for both of us to make decisions and organize things about the wedding.We already sent e-mail invitations, and know just about who's going to be there, about 25 people, maybe more, and then we just got stuck, we didn't went on with the preparations at all. Yesterday we finely stated to shake off this stuckness and met the Rabbi that is going to marry us. He's a good friend of a good friend. He's a Rabbi in training. I really appreciated his approach, he was very open to our opinions about what is important for us to have or not to have in the ceremony. He also offered a few interesting ideas like that me and Ned will write and decorated our Ktuba and talked about his own marriage experience. It was a very interesting experience for me to meet a Rabbi who's so unorthodox and not trying to talk me into becoming one.I told him that in that morning, when we were taking a walk, I was really moved to see a group of orthodox jews dressed in black, with their beards and big hats playing baseball in the park and how different it is for me, to see that in New York, aside of the fact that they are religious, the are also people, the fact that unlike in Israel they have to work for a living, I think, make sure they also have to take part in life, not just in the bible and their inner narrow world. I guess the difference is not only in the orthodox crowed, but also in me. In Israel, where all the secular people were talking Hebrew and looked familiar, the orthodox looked more alien and aggressive. Here, also cause they are less militant, but mostly I think, that next to the rest of the population, they look familiar, they dress in black and the women in the same dresses and wigs of Geula neighborhood in Jerusalem, and so, there's something comforting in their appearance and presence. Also, I like seeing signs in the street with Hebrew lettering, even though most of the time I have no idea what they say cause they are in Yiddish.Williamsburg, the Neighborhood that we live in, is divided into several areas, it's got a big part of polish and Italian decedents, it's got the cooler part in which we live, full of artists and hipsters that is becoming more and more yuppie, I really like the atmosphere is has now, but probably in a year or two it'll be too fancy and we'll have to move away. The Southern part of Williamsburg, which I almost never get to visit is mostly Orthodox Jews, When we went back from the meeting with the Rabbi (He lives in Park Slops - a Neighborhood that's deeper into Brooklyn, We were on the motorcycle and we rode through south Willamsburg, it was really amusing to see all the Sukkoth that suddenly took over all the neighborhood balconies. I'm not even sure he noticed it, I'm not sure if he even know what Sukkoth is all about, he's jewish and his parents are jewish but I'm not sure they know this holiday at all. I think that Suka on the balcony is something that you notice only when you look for them.Before arriving to south Williamsburg, we detoured on the bike to a neighborhood that's called "Red Hook" which I never seen before, it looked like a pretty poor neighborhood with a lot of tall projects buildings, it's right on the water front and border the pier where all the shipping boats download their big containers, so the neighborhood also have a lot of garages and sheds and small storage and work shops. Something about the docks and the houses and the smell of the water and atmosphere in the street really reminded me of Jaffa, only most of the people living there are not arabs.This area borders in another neighborhood that was pretty similar to this one a decade or so ago, but now look all fancy with all those high condo buildings and fancy big restaurants that's called DUMBO - I think it's an initial of something but i can't remember what of. I think that neighborhood also made me think of Jaffa, all those fancy construction projects like "Ha'Rova" or "Andromeda" with the lovely view and high prices and door man at the entrance and the way rich and poor live side to side without being aware of the other's presence. We ended our tour in the Brooklyn Bridge park that's in between the Brooklyn and the Manhattan bridge. It's so beautiful at night! I could see all the amazing lights from the buildings on the other side of the river, that famous New-York skyline and the two bridges also full of lights. It was one of those moments in which everything feels like it's a scene from a movie and I suddenly realize that I'm in New York and my brain have a little trouble excepting that fact.We couldn't stay in the park for more then 2 minutes cause his cellphone rang, it was his parents, and they said they are a little early, they just arrived to the building we live in, and were waiting for us cause we were all supposed to go out for dinner. I hope to go back to that park again, during the day and see what it looks like in the daytime, I took some picture but haven't downloaded them yet, so I'm not sure how it came out.I was a little nervous meeting his parents, the day before his father called with really bad news, several years ago, he had cancer that he manage with treatments and chemotherapy get over, he's been tested for it every few months since and till now he was healthy, but on his last test, the doctor found another tumor that would have to be treated. The doctors are still trying to decide what to do about it and what would the best course of action would be.I like his parents very much, they are very american and very nice and very polite, so that though I've met them 5 or 6 times since I got here, we have never really spoken about any serious things, it's always small talks about politics and their dog or people they know or people we know or the wether. I didn't know if now, that something bad happened, if they are going to react in an emotional way or if I'm just supposed to ignore the topic and not speak about it at all. You know how it is in Families - it's always the hardest to say what you want to say the most. We took them out to dinner at Union Picnic which is a tiny place that serves southern food which is really great as comfort food. As it turned out, it was the best meeting I had with them since I got to know them. They asked a lot of questions about the wedding and how they can help, they asked if it's OK if they'll be in charge of the food and suggested that instead of bringing food to the apartment, we'll all go out to that restaurant together after the wedding. It's a weird idea for me, but I guess nothing in this wedding is going to be like how I'm used to seeing weddings, so that can be pretty cool if the food part would be something different as well.They are really excited for us and want to help without being pushy. I'm really sad that mom and dad are acting like babies and choose not to take part in the wedding and my life at the moment. I think it's their lose, maybe even more then mine, but still, I think I would be happier about this wedding if mom and dad and of course you and our other sister would come, or if I'd known mom and dad are happy for us and excited about our wedding - A phone call might have been nice as well. at any case, a friend of ours will have a video camera and I'll try to get him to convert it to DVD as soon as possible so I can send a copy of it to mom and dad and you and them can all watch it together, even if not at real time.Eventually, after the wedding talk, his dad talk about the cancer, he said the most difficult thing is not to know what's going to happened, that once he'll know what the doctor intend to do, he'll feel better about it. He was pretty reserved and polite about it, but he did show us how difficult this was. The irony is that right now he's feeling totally healthy, but there is a chance that once he start treatment he'll be feeling really bad. I wanted to tell him I'm there for him and that I want to help, but I couldn't even imagine what I can do. Eventually, right before they left, he told us he'll let us know when the doctor decide on the treatments, and I said I would be happy to know what was decided and that if there's anything he needs, that I'm here for him. I know he would probably never ask, but I also knew that he was happy that I offered.It's strange how moments of difficulties bring people together, mostly families, even more then moments of happiness - isn't it?!How are you doing sweetheart? I heard from our sister that you are at the ward again. I hope it's bearable and that you are getting the help you need. I'm sure it's really hard but I think it's for the best and that it's a good place to start recovery from. I got to run, he's waiting for me at the fountain in 5 minutes and I have to pass through the bathroom on the way.Hugs and Kisses!